Stuck Between Slugs and Toads
by CoolyCakeCove
Summary: A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC
1. red

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

one: _red_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **I deserve this.**

I come to this same spot every day. Eventually there would be a day when I arrived while it rained. Today, the downpour threatens drown me in hot, pregnant droplets. The damp, black ground reflects my appearance. My face. A reflection I have tried so hard to avoid.

The great mystery of my parents' death is solved: first war casualties. I had the chance to see them bruised and bloodied so that the medical-nin could preform a DNA test. I recognized my parents from their faint chakra signatures alone.

Their bodies still haunt my dreams. There is no stable Yamanaka psychological ward yet, so I am left alone with my night terrors. Very few children can say they have buried their parent's bodies, more flesh and rotting tissue than people who gave them warm hugs and love.

I keep staring at the gray stone slabs before me, but my pale body is reflected everywhere. Skin so sunken and transparent I feel more like a ghost than human.

What should I do now? I am not the boy who should be standing here. In the short time I've known my parents, I knew they would die. I am not supposed to be here. Standing here should be the real Orochimaru, the one who would become a great antagonist who searches to defeat death.

I have stolen his position. I am fake, just as fake as this world I live in. If my fate is to become a villain, I should die and save the world the trouble. I've died once and it has landed me in this skin. Die twice and I may see my true family in the afterlife.

What is the point of existing?

The black sky is a never-ending void. Water falls endlessly. It's hard to breathe. I hope it'll drown me and let me die. I don't think I can kill myself intentionally.

This rain can make me sick. I'll suffer through the cold without treating it. Then I shall die. Then the world can be saved.

If the only thing I'm good at is hurting others, then there is nothing good I can bring to humanity. Thus the world will live kindly without me. Everyone will be all the safer. Unfortunately the Legendary Three Ninja will never exist in this world. At the very least, not in the same way as in canon.

" _Oi_! Outta this rain, weirdo! You _wanna_ get sick, or somethin'? Geez!"

A hand the color of healthy pink seizes my wrist and drags me away. My black silks curtain most of my vision, but as dark as the afternoon is, I cannot miss her bushy hair of blood red hair.

An Uzumaki. They are not extinct yet. It's very absurd. To see such a busty woman of a clan that is as good as dead. We are both ghosts.

"Are you an orphan? There's no way any reasonable parent would ditch their kid outside! For _God of Shinobi_ 's sake, the Leaf needs a orphanage."

She forces me to follow. We gradually get close to the Hokage Rock where the Second Hokage's face is currently in construction. Then, surrounded by a small fence, is a partially cylindrical house.

Easily she enters the open gate and marches to what seems to be her home, a three story house colored red and tan. A lonely swing set is hung up in the tree. She bangs on the door and, before long, a man with dirty blond hair appears.

"Tokonoma!" says the adult in awe. Though he may be thin, it is possible to see some muscle definition underneath his full, deep green kimono.

"Look what I brought: a orphan boy. Been standing outside for hours. I went to talk to Momma and I get outside hours later and see the boy hasn't budged! Get this child a bath going."

He meets my eyes and something dampens his brown eyes. "Absolutely. Please, enter."

The Uzumaki woman picks me up by my waist and steps inside. The man has given us a towel to dry off with. She dries me off before herself.

Next I follow her to the kitchen with my cold, bare feet warming up by moving on her warm floor. Tokonoma makes tea and hands me something out of the cabinet closet, wrapped in blue cloth.

"Eat it," she orders. "You'll get sick at this rate, kid."

I take it and it's chocolate. Very bitter chocolate that stings my mouth and leaves a coffee-like aftertaste. Then I am drinking scalding hot tea with quick sips to avoid touching my tongue and sensitive mouth flesh.

Distantly, I hear the tub being filled.

"You look funny."

I find the woman is staring at me. Her eyes are the same color and depth as the sky outside. Her long, feminine eyelashes contrast her rough speech.

"I don't think I've seen your folks around. I would remember them looking strange as you. Oh well. Guess my next problem is getting you a home. No way am I raising another child in this house, y'know."

She puts her arms behind her back and stretches.

"Tokonoma! The tub awaits!"

"Yeah, yeah..." She picks me up without warning. "C'mon, we're gonna bathe together. I don't really care if we're strangers. You're a skinny baby and you just might break yourself if I left you alone. Listen here, I'm not real patient, so you better not be _annoyin_ '."

I dangle helplessly as she carts me into the bathroom—very large, expansive, and completely lacking a toilet—and begins to wash me up, first with soap and water outside the tub, rinsing, and then soaking in the tub.

She joins me in the lavender water as if we were in a hot spring. In her hands is water she scooped up and sniffs.

"My husband," Tokonoma sighs. "Rose water, witch hazel, honey, and bath salts. He goes overboard."

I try to avoid my purple-tinted reflection by staring at the misty tiles. While I look away, Tokonoma starts threading her gentle fingers through my still wet hair. She untangles a few knots and smoothes the rest.

"Man, if only I had some good hair as you, boy," she comments. "Keep your hair healthy. Girls would kill for this. Lucky devil, you."

We remain in that hot tub for a long while. At her husband's fifth call that dinner is ready, Tokonoma allows us to escape the tub. She wears a well-fitting kimono-like tunic and housecoat. I get to wear her daughter's pink yukata that ended up being to long for her. The woman also ties up my hair with a towel and gives me thick socks.

My skin feels really smooth. It reminds me of what I imagine snakes to feel like.

Dinner is curry and seafood. Tokonoma piles on spices on her plates while her husband eats placidly. I never had a dinner together with my family. We ate alone and whenever we wanted. In hindsight, maybe they thought they would get more time with me.

"Tokonoma," says the man a few moments after a brief silence, "are we truly parting ways with our guest?"

She speaks with food still in her mouth. "Of course! But I'm glad I saw him earlier. He coulda been bird food by morning."

"Our daughter would be _so_ happy to have a brother, though..."

"Nuh- _uh_. I don't got time to be dealing with _two_ puberty cases in my household. Somebody might want him."

"Who do you think will?"

"Could be those cuddly Akimichi people. Probably Sarutobi, with Hiruzen and all. Push come to shove, another Senju might want him."

Their conversation starts to become very meaningless babble. I eat, finish, and sleep in their room on a seperate mattress. They find an old blanket for me to use and blow out the candles. I can still hear their steps throughout the house.

This warmth is almost nice. Since my parents had been busy with the war effort, I never thought I would miss this as much as I do now.

Falling asleep, I hope I don't dream of any night terror.

 **end**

* * *

Uh, no clue how unique of a concept this is? Anyway, just had an idea: what if an oc was born as a sanin? Since this era will have to utilize a buncha OCs because the lack of specificity, might as well make the man cast canon characters.

Ergo, OC trapped in Orochimaru. Because I think Jiraiya's or Tsunade's body would be too stressing considering what s/he's responsible for. For Orochimaru, his goal is to have some talent to Jiraiya's none and not go evil. Not _as_ stressful, but it has it's owwn difficulties. I'll try not to get to excessive levels of angst.

Also, this timeline is going to give me an aneurysm.


	2. day

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

two: _day_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **To my surprise, Tokonoma is an early riser and her husband is impossible to wake up.**

She gets me out of bed—an easy task, as I drifted in and out of sleep all night—and to the bathroom that has a toilet and no tub. The Uzumaki woman removes the towel she wrapped on my head and brushes my hair. She pulls her own hair back into a hasty, uneven bun and tells me, "Why don't you copy me? It'll be more fun than staring."

Tokonoma slaps her cheeks. _Hard_. Hard enough to leave red prints. She continues to hit herself, and I'm surprised her husband doesn't come running to check up on her.

"I said you can do it with me," she says to my reflection. "Go on. Get that blood pumping through your face, boy."

I prefer to lightly pinch my cheeks, and she seems satisfied with that.

Tokonoma washes her face in a practiced pattern: first with liquid soap then foam soap. I repeat her and find both fragrances are mint.

Drying her face off, she continues with more products: she rubs something onto her skin then drops a droplet or two on different spots on her face, changing bottles as she moves locations seamlessly.

"They're my essences and serums," Tokonoma tells me. "Here, use this. My daughter loves that. Helps minimize her pores."

I rub a sweet-smelling, clear liquid on my face. It dries quickly without feeling greasy.

"Here's the fun part!"

On our faces is a skin mask. I can actually look at the mirror and stand to see myself. The bright pink color makes my grayish skin look unnatural.

"Let's go wake up sleeping beauty," Tokonoma says, standing. "He takes forever and a day."

Waking him up requires Tokonoma to sit on his back and poke him repeatedly while shouting his name. He pushes away her hands and moans in his sleep incoherent words.

Tokonoma loses her patience once her stomach growls. "Get _up_ , Hazuo! I'm hungry! Make breakfast, you _jerk_."

This is nice. It reminds me of my old family. My first family.

"Oi, quit smiling and help me! Maybe I'll be able to eat breakfast on time for once," she orders. I start pinching Hazuo's body.

Eventually he does wake up, very groggy, and Tokonoma orders him to go cook before he can use the bathroom. To me, she tells me it's about time to remove our masks.

All that's left is face and eye moisturizers and sunscreen. By the time we're complete, Hazuo has made a simple breakfast of rice, eggs, and fish slices with a tiny fish oil dish at the side. As usual, we drink green tea.

"Thank you, Hazuo. Go do whatever you gotta do."

"Hooray," he says weakly, eyes shut. "I bet the bathroom smells delightful."

"Go before the food gets cold."

I eat and once again I fail to taste anything. But my stomach feels heavy and hot.

"Oi, boy. You don't feel sick, huh? You look alright to me. You're skin's all nice and soft like it's supposed to be. Hazuo washed your clothes off, but don't you need something else to wear? Gray is a plain color."

Which means a lot from a woman who wore a baby blue and purple kimono dress yesterday.

I managed to escape shopping and instead accompany Tokonoma throughout her day. First she walks with Hazuo to the beginnings of the Leaf Library. It is his job to create copies of books and scrolls for all to read and enjoy. Next, we visit the Hokage Tower. It is still the same building, albeit less battered by rain, snow,wind, sun, and time. The inside is very minimally decorated, however.

Tokonoma ignores all the shinobi guards and steps into the main office. Rather than seeing a man at the chair, it is a woman.

Mito Uzumaki.

The First's wife, jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Fox. She is taller than both Tokonoma and I, and carries herself with unimaginable poise. Waves of her intense energy shakes my core. I feel like fainting.

"Good morning," Mito greets, very kindly.

"Where's the old man at—nevermind, look," Tokonoma replies, pointing at me. "You know this kid is an orphan, right? Caught him standing out in the rain in the cemetery. He needs a family."

Mito's eyes widen a fraction. "You are wanting to adopt him?"

"Yeah, right."

She relaxes. "I see. Yes, the Leaf is very aware of the surplus orphans and I fear only more will come our way once war begins again. Until the orphanage is completed, the children are temporarily staying with clans. Surely you can watch over him while it is built?"

"No," Tokonoma says curtly.

"Your daughter is not _that_ big of a hassle, is she?"

"Puh-lease. Contractions don't even begin to level the measure of pain she is." She puts fists on her hips. "Won't anyone else accept him?"

"It will take a while. Perhaps someone will care for him, but it may take months. Even then, the orphanage may already be completed," she smiles.

"Look, old woman, I'll watch the boy if someone watches my _girl_. I swear if someone hurts her, I will bust some heads wide open, hear me? Either you get a pissed off Uzumaki or a happy child."

Mito isn't perturbed. She is the holder of both halves of the Nine Tailed Fox. Nothing should scare her anymore.

"Thank you, Tokonoma. Your daughter is in good hands."

Tokonoma scoffs and stomps out the room. I want to follow but why is Mito Uzumaki here? Both First and Second are still alive. Not for very long—not with the constant threat of war on everyone's shoulders.

Mito's smile grows when we lock eyes.

"We shall meet again in this life," she says.

Tokonoma grabs me, and I am forced to leave.

 **end**


	3. dark

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

three: _dark_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **Tokonoma's source of income comes from beating challenges set by what seems like carnival fair booths without the carnival**.

Men and women arrived in the Leaf Village with special challenges to get kids or teens paying ryo to play. It is a very easy way of earning money for the Leaf and testing in new shinobi.

"Look at the shuriken! Hit the shuriken in the center with your kunai! Three chances to get it right!"

Tokonoma smacks down four ryo coins, picks up the blunted blade, and focuses on the shuriken moving in a circular pattern. She throws and the shuriken thunks against the wooden background, kunai stuck in its open center.

The man stares at his shuriken jaw hanging before giving us a reward of a thousand ryo.

"Chump change," Tokonoma comments. "I'll keep coming back until he picks up the price. Stubborn man, ain't he?"

She effortlessly beats the challenges. It is unclear if repetition or innate ability is the cause. Whether it's scent challenges or illusion challenges, she wins and wins dramatically, all while accepting her reward with cool indifference. Towards the beginnings of sunset, we head back to her home with a big sack full of ryo.

She doesn't knock but presses a palm against the wooden door. It pops open. She nudge the door with her foot and shoves me in first before closing it.

Her house is dark, covered in long shadows of a setting sun.

"He's not home yet."

Tokonoma's voice is very weak. I can't see her shadowed expression.

"I want to wait until I hear his steps, but I got to be an adult for you, boy."

I hold her wrist, trying to comfort such a scary woman, and find she is trembling.

"Let go, kid! I don't need your help!"

I back away.

What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm intruding. Something is making her afraid and I cannot deduce what. If it were darkness, then she should have been afraid yesterday evening. Could it be silence? The lack of warmth a house has when empty? If she is an adult, she was alive during the end of the Warring States Period. She could have experienced any kind of trauma.

Before the shadows grow any longer, I guide myself through the darkness to find a candle and matches. I light up one then others. Still, the woman remains with her back on the door, head in hands. I take her wrists and pull until Tokonoma is on her feet, pull more until she is sitting on her purple couch. Just as soon as I wrap a blanket around her, trying not to look into her empty eyes, the front door opens and the candles flicker.

" _Tokonoma_!"

I step away as Hazuo bursts into the living room, eyes solely trained on the Uzumaki woman. With him in sight, Tokonoma comes to and focuses.

"You smelly butt," she curses.

Hazuo starts smiling and scoops her up into a big embrace. Not even my parents showed that amount of affection whenever I was around. Obviously they loved each other if I was born. Or perhaps I was a mistake—I like to believe that version even more.

As they begin to whisper, I understand I am unwelcomed and leave them alone. I find I am not hungry so I climb into bed and hope I can fall asleep eventually. As if nothing is the matter.

 **end**


	4. tolerance

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

four: _tolerance_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **I pretend to wake up as soon as Tokonoma starts her loud stretching.**

Other than her over the top noises, Hazuo's quiet snoring fills the room.

She looks at me. _Glares_. Does she hate me now? Did I mess up last night?

"How dare you," she threatens, eyes narrowing, lids shrinking the white so only black and a sliver of blue remains. "No-one misses Hazuo's cooking, hear me? Unless you're puking up your guts, nobody _misses_ it!"

The tension leaves my body. Tokonoma misinterprets this and hits my head.

"You're eating breakfast immediately! Help me get this man up!"

Today, she kicks him until he stirs.

When Tokonoma's slaps can be heard all the way in the kitchen, Hazuo starts the stove. He shuffles like a zombie with eyes barely open. The man may be moving more on autopilot than intentionally. Somehow he manages to make breakfast without burning the house down.

He places the plate before me, before his wife's seat, and he sits at the head of the table.

"I really need to freshen up," he comments idly.

I pick up my thinly sliced salmon peppered with seasonings with red chopsticks. I wonder if I'll be able to taste this food. My nose begins to work a little more everyday.

"I will return shortly," Hazuo says soon before stumbling away.

A little later, I can hear their distant, muffled voices.

"Get _out_. This is a woman's place. I don't need your man funk giving me wrinkles."

"Two seconds, love? It won't take long."

"Go outside. Use what you have."

"Aren't we more civilized than that?"

"I know I am. Are _you_?"

She makes a strange noise, and the door shuts. I can't eat my food until I place the noise. _Laughter_?

Regardless, Tokonoma hits me again for eating without waiting. This hit is less painful than the one from this morning.

 **end**

* * *

With a follower named Updateplease, I feel somehow compelled to update.

This arc spans 10 chapters.


	5. gone

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

five: _gone_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **For the next two weeks, Hazuo never fails to be at home before Tokonoma returns.**

Both adults pretend that day never happened as they continue on as normal. Tokonoma shows Hazuo her bag of ryo coins and he shows her his pay for the day. They calculate total income and subtract taxes.

Last night, Tokonoma decided she would take me shopping.

After seeing Hazuo off, she takes me to the Leaf shopping district. The district is a hot-spot of merchants and venders of booths and stores. The dark blue building selling clothes is large enough to be a tiny apartment complex and has multiple floors. The second floor holds toddler clothing.

It seems the only fashionable items in this village are kimono and yukata themed tops with _monpe_ shorts. Even Tokonoma admits the fashion is particularly plain.

"Find something you like," she orders. "We'll customize it later. You _think_ kimono come like this for women with big chests?"

She told me she hates gray. Gray is the color of how I feel. I do pick a very light gray to please her. I find a few kimono-like tops—some with gold belts, some with dark gray leaves embroidered on the bottom— and navy blue bottoms that reach all the way to my ankles. Wanting to cover up my pale skin, I find undershirts that will do the job.

Tokonoma takes one glance at my clothes and scoffs.

"Reality isn't a funeral," she tells me, words sounding oddly profound.

She buys the clothes, as well as replacement items for them, and our next stop is the tailor shop two stores down. It is a simple shop filled with tailoring materials and the smell of yarn.

"Tokonoma," greets a bald man with an impressive mustache sitting behind the counter. "Need another stretch?"

"Fine for now." She drops my new clothes on the countertop. "This boy has crap fashion sense. Make these clothes less boring, won't you?"

He looks directly at me, despite his eyes being squished shut. "I see. Amber and gold will stand out, yes indeed. You've got bold eyes, son."

An image of Orochimaru's wild eyes come to mind. I feel like keeping my eyes perpetually closed, like the old man.

The tailor pulls out box after box of accessories. He attaches amber-colored semicircles around necklines, make the five centimeters remaining of my pants leg gold, and other small features.

In the end, my outfits _do_ look customized and unique. I no longer feel as indistinct.

Tokonoma pays and we return home. To my surprise, she washes and hangs my clothes on the clothesline to dry. She throws together a shoddy lunch and then I get to start wearing my new outfit.

"Least you're no longer an eye bore," Tokonoma says, ruffling my hair.

She quickly divulges into boredom by messing with my hair and cleaning the house.

I start wondering if Tokonoma is some sort of kunoichi. She has the skills of a ninja yet never wears a forehead protector or carries the standard equipment. I believe Hazuo is less likely to be a ninja. He, at the very least, has no stereotypical traits of one. Tokonoma walks silent and agile; when we take baths together there is no mistaking her muscle definition; like I, she is a very light sleeper and can go many days on few sleep.

In contrast, Hazuo is more clumsy—though not in the sense he bumps or trips. His steps and stance, his very presence in a room, isn't controlled or dignified as shinobi. When we walk with him to the library, he remains unaware of his surroundings whereas Tokonoma's eyes are always looking. He is a heavy sleeper and even harder to wake up. He _could_ be a ninja, but is very good at faking it. Tokonoma could be seen as the one who is a poor ninja if anyone can easily decipher the clues.

At any rate, I like to copy Tokonoma's physical behavior. I have learned to see her true beauty in the way she holds herself. Men and women look at her fixedly whenever she enters the room. It is a shame that as soon as she speaks, the trance is shattered by her abrupt Japanese and blunt words.

Still, traits I would have definitely found annoying in my first life are bearable. I have become so attached to Tokonoma Uzumaki that when she says one night, "Alright, I miss my girl. I'm gonna go see her. Hazuo, take care of the boy." what little taste I had developed vanishes.

Tokonoma sees Hazuo off, but I can't go with her. I hate how she walks off, never looking back. It would be out of character for her to _do_ that, but I am not thinking rationally.

Hazuo pats my back, a rude awakening. "Don't fret. She will return before you realize! I know she will miss you something awful."

Since I cannot be left in the house alone, I have the fortune to join Hazuo at work.

Hazuo's day is spent behind a wooden desk in a dark room reading, tracing, restoring, or writing books or scrolls. He may sometimes redraw entire works of art from the complex details of anatomy to the broad, angular ink strokes of seas. His work takes him a long time and necessitates all of his attention.

I start to read these paperworks to keep myself busy from my thoughts, not the Uzumaki. I read great love stories filled with passionate cliches that I can't forget. I read the epic of a man named Yukimura and his army of ten to defeat the sun. I read a scroll, written by one thousand authors, containing nothing but poems. I read of colors I never dreamed from the sounds of music, embellished historical tales, dreams of a person about a moon goddess, a person who discovers they are dead and unaware of when and how they died.

Since Tokonoma will not be returning home for three weeks, we remain in the library until the height of night, barely taking care of basic needs.

At home, we eat a quick meal and relax in the tub, letting the hot water and serums work away pains from sitting too long.

"I'm really delighted by how well you can read," Hazuo smiles and combs through his dirty gold locks. "When I was young, I behaved quite like you. I spent dreadfully long days entranced by stories while living in the Court."

I've never heard of such a word. Hazuo chuckles.

"The Senju Court. Merely a handful of aristocrats together in one place, the ones who disliked combat. We kept our warriors well supplied while they kept us safe."

Hazuo is aristocratic? But his home is very plain and neither has a well-paying job. Unless... he was disowned? Perhaps _not_ marrying a Senju made his family upset?

The following morning, if a person's name is not Tokonoma, waking up this man is next to impossible. He is impervious to ice cubes and hot water. I am too little to do any devastating hits. I resort to spraying Tokonoma's favorite lavender and vanilla perfume which gets him sitting up. Barely.

He is late to work despite my efforts and we resume our refuge to the world of reading.

 **end**

* * *

Just read the reviews today. Thanks for the response.


	6. impatient

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

six: _impatient_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **I pinch Hazuo to make him return to reality.**

He had been staring into the distance for a good while as cleans a knife.

"Sorry," he says with a laugh. "I am unused to being away from my girls for so long."

I miss her too, but I can't say I miss his daughter I have never seen.

"My Tokonoma will be returning home shortly. Three more days. My love is _never_ late! It is quite impressive, really. My mother would love being late if it meant more time to do makeup and to fancy herself. Tokonoma works quickly and efficiently, even going so far as to start hours prior!"

He is babbling. I eat some chocolate just so I can taste something.

"One time I arrived a minute past the meet time for our date. She threatened to end our relationship! A terrifying moment for young little me, who had no experience with women. Just my luck I chose a behemoth. And she chose _me_..."

I internally roll my eyes.

 **end**


	7. late

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

seven: _late_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **I am very excited that today is the day.**

I can hardly read my books in anticipation. Hazuo is nice and all, but I miss her.

Hazuo makes a big feast for us to commemorate the occasion before tuning out the world at work. He obviously senses my agitation, as he assigns me a task to do: calligraphy. He wants me to learn a few hiragana characters so that time will pass faster. He teaches me the proper stroke order and brush grip, then sets me to it, a toddler with an ink and brush.

I start to draw and find it harder than expected. Hazuo's writing is thin, graceful. Mine is thick and crude. I blame my errors on my young body and keep trying.

Eventually, it grows hard to see the scroll paper due to the setting sun. I nudge Hazuo from his work, hoping he'll light candles as he always does.

Hazuo jerks in his seat, glances at the window, and gasps.

"No no no no no..."

Hazuo bookmarks his work, arguably "cleans up", and drags me out the library with a frenzied quickness.

"This is terrible, awful, horrible..." the husband keeps repeating, adding more synonyms.

We make it to the gate and to the steps. Hazuo is panting and sweating and the door is cracked open a little, a narrow strip of black revealing the dark house inside.

"I am such a fool," he pants. "I deeply apologize for what you're to see. I-I should have been more alert..." He pauses, swallowing for a few times as if his throat closed up. "She has a stress condition, you see. She had several siblings who fought in the war. She would see them off, and they would never return, one by one. That is how it manifested: insidious.

"Then it was time her long-time crush and childhood friend to join the war. She saw him off and he, too, never returned. I heard that she waited a week at the door for his arrival—that Mito-sama found her dying of dehydration. I personally witnessed her hysteria when she received word of his death. I never hoped to see something that haunting again...

"I am always supposed to return home before sunset," he concludes. "Else she'll believe I am dead."

He pushes the door open. I find my stomach unbearably tight.

She sits there on her folded legs, waiting on the raised ground before the entrance steps. Her blue eyes are big and full of tears.

"Hazuo," Tokonoma mumbles, her confident and boyish timbre replaced with a painful rawness. "Boy..."

He immediately picks up his wife bridal style and heads further into the home. I close the door and try to breathe.

Her gaze was full of anguish that looked so familiar.

How many loved ones had she seen that never returned?

I want to run, hide, and pretend to sleep. But thinking beyond my selfishness, would the Uzumaki take that kindly? Would she hate that? Would she leave me outside like she originally planned?

Not knowing what to do, I watch Hazuo comfort Tokonoma, gently asking about their daughter (Tokonoma complains about the headaches she gave her) and who cooked for them (Hiruzen is a skilled cook, and Tokonoma ships him and Biwako), among others. With every question, every distraction, every sentence said to ground her back into reality, the Uzumaki starts to slowly return to her original self.

Tokonoma looks at me after a while, expectant. "What? Mad I ditched you for a few weeks, boy?"

I see. I'd been standing here like a ghost. But she isn't treating me like one.

I grab Tokonoma's hand with my own impossibly tiny hand—it can close around her ring finger let alone her entire hand—and press it against my heart. The hand is as big as my chest. Tokonoma could crush me and kill me. The world will be better.

She doesn't remove her hand, however. She allows the drum of my rapid heart to console her. In return, her natural heat is almost magical. I feel as if my blood is cold, but her hand is spreading heart through my body, heat reminding me of happier days and summer memories—my childhood old and new.

I never want this to end.

But—

"Hey, Hazuo, I'm hungry," Tokonoma states. "Nobody's food is better than yours, so cook."

Hazuo laughs, used to her nature. "Right. I'll prepare us a lovely feast. Afterwards, a relaxing bath. You'll be so content, you will fall asleep immediately!"

And so we continue as if nothing ever happened.

Hazuo's food is gorgeous and smells heavenly, but I can't taste anything. Chewing it feels like a chore. The more I crush the food, the more it feels like an inedible paste.

The thought of a hot bath with its cloying essential oils and heat makes me burn up. I can listen no longer to Tokonoma's lively voice and Hazuo's placid words.

I excuse myself midway through dinner and go to the room. I cover up in the blanket, feeling hallow and disconnected from the world.

My thoughts drift to Tokonoma, unsurprisingly.

Her family fought in a war? Was it the First War? Or was it before that time, when all Tailed Beasts ran rampant and violent? Whichever battle they fought, her family probably stood no chance. But how could she believe that?

And if Hazuo was exiled from aristocracy to marry Tokonoma, it had to have been before the First War. Before the Leaf and Hokage. Why would the elite forbid a man to marry their clan's leader?

Her trauma had been with her for a long time. It may just be irreversible.

 _How could I leave this world so easily knowing that?_

After staring at a wall for I don't know how long, sleep takes me away.

 **end**

* * *

AN Okay.

If Mito haschildren after being jinchuuriki, they would have whiskers. Obviously Kushina had the same seal as Mito. Therefore, Mito had children before becoming a jinchuuriki. Else Tsunade would have whiskers as do Bolt and Sunflower. So that would mean Hashi was seeing Mito far before the Leaf Village was a village and had stopped having children when she was a jinchuuriki, which is why Mito (or Hiruzen?) warned Kushina about the seal weakening through childbirth. The seal rendered her unable to have children safely.

Or maybe I'm crazy.


	8. onwards

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

eight: _onwards_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **I missed joining Tokonoma during her pursuit of challenges to win.**

She always has an impish grin before she plays, and the challenger only has a moment to regret letting her play.

She has some notoriety, with villagers secretly dubbing her as "Tokonoma the Take All". Certain challengers create convoluted schemes to make her lose. She still wins every single time, maybe unknowingly foiling her challengers' plans.

Is Tokonoma a ninja? And if she is, would she request that I become a ninja?

I entertain the thought of becoming a ninja despite have a short life expectancy. I think I love the concept of throwing handheld weapons: shuriken, kunai, and senbon. Such small, aerodynamic particles can be effective in battle through the hands of someone gifted.

Of course, whenever I think of being a ninja, the flow of energy deep within me grows more poignant. Every so often I test my control of the energy and find it all too easy to manipulate. Being from a world without this resource, I am intimately aware of all the differences this energy has caused my new body. It is bizarre.

My days aren't without pain. The more attached I become to the Uzumaki, the more I am reminded of the incoming devastation of the Uzumaki Clan. I don't think I want to see Tokonoma crushed by her fallen Uzumaki. She may quite certainly end it all at that point. There is no telling how Hazuo will react. Perhaps he wil join her, and I will see another family lie at my feet.

I try my best to abandon hopeful thought of bringing change, but they are so very stubborn.

Then to firmly cease my hope, Mito Uzumaki arrives at the door six months since I've arrived here, saying, "Congratulations, Tokonoma. The orphanage is completed. We will take the little one out your hands."

I'm surprised by how much pain closes my throat. I do not want this world to end—I should not _want_ anything. I should accept this. I should.

Hazuo, who had left once he saw the elegant powerhouse, returns with luggage in tow, smiling. "Excellent. His bag is already packed!"

Tokonoma had been quiet up until she heard Hazuo. She turns on her husband, scowling. "What? Since _when_ did you hear it was done? When'd you pack his stuff up?"

Hazuo just shrugs cheerfully. "I must say, I do miss our girl. The sooner he leaves, the sooner she will arrive."

"Still, you jerk! Don't do things like that!"

"Apologies, love. Now then, Mito-sama, shall I escort him to the orphanage?"

Mito nods once. "Of course. I shall lead the way. We will return shortly, Tokonoma—unless you would like to come?"

She shakes her head. Releases the hand that was just holding mine. A cold, unnatural feeling burns in my hand and is not alleviated once Mito gently takes it.

My feet walk automatically behind the adults' slow steps.

I'm going to miss this home.

The meals, the mornings, the _people_.

I can't stop wanting. I can't escape these feelings.

I _deserve_ this.

I do not deserve happiness. Such is the way of life.

I say I should accept this fate, but, as the fence gets closer, I feel that once I pass it, I won't be able to stop this sadness threatening to overflow.

" _Geez_! The hell's with you batty people? You take this boy away from a good-enough home like heartless asshats? Screw you!"

I am grateful a familiar strength pulls me _away_ from the fence.

Tokonoma grasps me tightly as the adults turn around.

"Hazuo! I can't believe you of all people are ditching this boy! It's like I don't even know you anymore!

"And you, Momma, you're cruel! I thought you were kind! War's changed you!"

Mito's small lips curve into a smile. "Have you found someone willing to adopt the boy?"

"Yeah. You're looking right at her."

This hurts so bad. But it is a pleasant hurt.

Hazuo bows to Mito. "Apologies. Appears as though I have been misinformed, then!"

"I wil return with adoption papers tonight," Mito beams. "Oh, expect your daughter tomorrow, perhaps morning or early noon. Good day to the new family."

I watch as she walks away, overflowing with grace in her pure white _kimono_. I wonder... did she play me for a fool?

Well, Tokonoma starts fussing at Hazuo, who urges her to help him chose a room for me. We look through three rooms before finding _it_.

Tokonoma gasps.

My room is very, very plain. Pistachio-colored walls and a wooden floor. The closet door is open with my clothes hanging inside, clothes for _all_ seasons. My bed lies under the window, blue blankets and pillows with a stuffed lizard. Trees are painted in intricate, tiny strokes on my walls.

I have never received this attention. I was too young for a room with my parents.

This is... for me.

"Hazuo, I hate you! You tricked me, you jerk! Gaah!" Tokonoma lands a hard punch on Hazuo's stomach. "You made this and didn't tell me? When? How? _Have_ you been working? I thought our funds was a little low! Geez! _Geez_! I love it!"

Hazuo mumbles something sounding like "I'm glad" as he is bent over from the injury.

I tune them out and step in my warm room. I actually have slippers now, like the rest of them.

All I can do is just sit in my room and wait for the fear rush of earlier to fade away.

 **end**


	9. family

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

nine: _family_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **Tokonoma slides the papers to her husband, saying, "You write. It's pretty."**

I sit in the middle of the two, enjoying their warmth.

"Alright, first thing's first! A name for our little one."

"Should we just make up one?"

Hazuo doesn't reply. Is that question intended for me? I take the brush from him and write very carefully _Orochimaru_. I write the five characters used to pronounce my name.

"Orochimaru," Tokonoma says and I _enjoy_ hearing my name come from her voice. "Huh. That's a mouthful. I like 'boy' better. Can't 'boy' be his name?"

"That... may not be legal calling a child _every_ noun in existence. I would not want to be a child named _This_ or _Goodbye_."

"Humph. Just suggestion. Whatever. His name is nice for what it means."

I am happy.

"He's about three, I bet. Write your birthday—October twenty-seventh? So you're a fall baby! Oh- _ho_ , if you were in your mother's gut for nine months, I know what day they—"

"Hush, love. He's a child."

"Meh..."

We complete the papers together. It's very selfish of me to continue fooling them I will be their son for a long time. But I can't stop. Hope is such a great force to defeat.

The next day, we clean the house for the arrival of their daughter. Hazuo straightens her room while Tokonoma and I do the bottom floor. I go to my room just to enjoy it while I wait.

A very quick rasp on the door breaks the house's quiet. Hazuo is the one to open the door and a very girly voice can be heard shouting: " _Poppaaaa_!"

I can hear her running through the home, yelling all the while.

"Who in home? New _brother_? Really, really? Who? I see him! I see him _now_! Where brother? Where?"

She is racing up the steps while Tokonoma shouts just as loud, "Do not run, girl! You're going to fall down them steps! Don't scare the poor boy!"

Her daughter opens and slams doors until the sound is right next door. I am already flinching as she opens _my_ door and pauses.

She truly _is_ their child.

Their child I have seen before.

Blond pigtails, a round face with bright red cheeks, Hazuo's deep brown eyes, Tokonoma's eyelashes and temper. Resting on her pale neck, the First Hokage's necklace.

It is unmistakably _Tsunade Senju._

 **end**


	10. sister

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

ten: _sister_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **"Who are you?"**

The young Tsunade narrows her big brown eyes at me.

"The heck? Girl? Boy? Can't tell! Geez!"

Tokonoma must be Mito Uzumaki and Hashirama Senju's _daughter_. Hazuo is Tsunade's _father_. As if to mock me, the necklace of the First Hokage dangles over her pinafore dress, catching a distorted reflection of a terrified me.

Tsunade toddles right up to me and grabs my pants. She _pulls_ before I can comprehend her logic.

" _Boy_? Meh. You look dumb!" concludes Tsunade in her minimal language.

 _Why_ was that her first instinct? I think I understand Tokonoma's comments about her.

"Why you here? Parents died? You crazy? Uncle Tobi telled Tsunade no talk to crazy. Or Uchiha! You Uchiha? Why you skin weird?" Those are the only words I can decipher before she babbles nonsensical words. That and a deadly, "You beened to Tsunade's _room_? Tsunade _kill you_!"

I'm saved by the sudden appearance of Hazuo at the door who had missed Tsunade letting go of my pants. "Tsunade-hime, no one has touched your room besides me. Would you like to eat your favorite food?"

" _Yuh-es_!"

To my horror, all she has to do is give her father a cheesy smile and he follows her every whim without question. It's almost as if young Tsunade has taken control of his mind.

"She is _not_ my fault," Tokonoma says, now in the doorway instead of the horrifying duo. "Her father and her family spoiled her rotten! Now _I_ gotta deal with this tiny terror!"

I follow Tokonoma down the stairs and watch behind her as Hazuo prepares a dessert for Tsunade (who cheers him on with cheesy phrases).

"You can't give her sugar at this hour!" her mother shouts. "She'll be bouncing off the walls!"

"Yes... but Tsunade-hime mentioned you were particularly mean and hurt her feelings," Hazuo responds in kind while Tsunade exaggerates crying behind him. "I feel as though dessert should make a proper apology gift."

"Like hell it will! _Cut it out, you two_!"

"Careful! Tsunade-hime dislikes 'cut'. She recalls all your fake threats about killing her. We shan't give that trauma to our princess!"

"It's dumbos like _you_ that make me _want_ to kill her! Geez!"

Tsunade starts bawling. "Poppa! Momma scary!"

"Tokonoma," Hazuo _chides_.

The Uzumaki gives up and walks outside. I'm right behind her. She sits on the swing far too small for a grown woman and puts me in her lap. We swing slowly and not very high. At some point, she rests her chin on top of my head.

"Tell me you won't become a teenager like Tsunade..." Tokonoma murmurs. "I'm hoping she'll get all her brattiness out while young and be a good girl."

She'll become a great medical-nin at the very least. If I do manage to garner a reason to live, I will make sure she pursues medicine. I don't want my existence to screw over the rest of the world even though I am trying _not_ to be evil.

"You know, kid... I realized your room's empty. Is there something you like? You never ask for anything. It's cool to do that crap now since you're mine, after all. Just don't be _another_ Tsunade if you wanna live."

What I want?

I want the world to live without me.

I should have never became Tsunade's brother. She doesn't deserve me. Tokonoma and Hazuo shouldn't have to deal with me. I hate how I have wormed my way into their lives and find it hard to return to my secluded world.

Somewhere, in this village, my home remains untouched for six months. Would Tokonoma care about that? If I mentioned I wanted to go back?

The Uzumaki woman sighs. Actually, if her father is Hashirama, she just might be the clan heiress.

"Let's head back inside. She might totally kill him."

Hazuo is unharmed, but somehow Tsunade convinced him to use their income to buy her all new stuff at the Leaf shopping district. I am forced to join Tokonoma to keep the two in check.

 **end**


	11. terror

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

eleven: _terror_

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years

* * *

 **"Poppy, I want cute dress!"**

Tsunade has no clue what an indoor voice is. She points to a cyan dress with frills and pink bows. "Tea party dress!"

"Yes, my little princess," Hazuo sighs pleasantly.

Tokonoma flicks her daughter in the head. "Do you even know how expensive that is? Don't just get any random thing."

Tsunade rubs the blossoming red spot. First she pouts. Then she grins impishly, a replica of Tokonoma. " _Oooh_! Mommy! Double D bra! Double D bra for Mommy! Ah! Double D panty, too!"

No...

The nearby women who hear her shrieks start staring, particularly at Tokonoma's well-endowed chest.

The Uzumaki goes red, unknowingly from anger or embarrassment, and yells, "I'm going to _kill you_!"

"Love, please! You shouldn't threaten children in public! It isn't safe... or particularly ethical," Hazuo defends.

"Shuddup! It's your fault she's like this!"

Tsunade smirks at her bickering parents and skips away. I, of course, follow behind her, hiding in the annulus-shaped clothesracks. She quite enjoys girly things like ribbons and dolls. Distantly, Tsunade's parents call her to return, but Tsunade shouts she's going to the bathroom (or her toddler equivalent, anyway). Two steps later, it is very obvious she is not going to the bathroom.

The pigtailed, she-demon skips and hums down the stairs and right out the door. She twirls and leaps, very agile for her age. Tsunade splashes in puddles and chats to the vendors who call her princess. We are too far from the mall. I should guide her back.

Tsunade comes to a screeching halt seeing a white, fluffy puppy hobbling down the road. She kneels before him, talking, then picks up his blood-stained foreleg. She unwraps the bandages around her knee—she had hurt it kicking someone in the face—and ties it around the puppy's paw. She then kisses its head and shoos it away.

At that moment she stands and dusts off her pinafore, she turns and I don't have a chance to hide in time. Her warm, contented gaze contorts into fury.

"Oi! You creepy brother! Pervy brother! What you doing? _Gah_!"

A toddler sprints to me, fist pulled back into a punch. I dodge it, definitely not wanting to hurt Tokonoma's girl.

She pouts, spirals, and sends a kick flying. It's her bad leg though. I am able to catch the kick, with only aching hands being my injury.

Tsunade awkwardly balances one foot, while her slip dress underneath her pinafore slips dangerously down. The girl doesn't even wear modesty shorts—perhaps took them off to spite her mother.

"Lemme go! Tsunade yell! Pervy!"

She will likely try to hit me again. I pull her to me and catch her as she crashes into my chest. From afar, this certainly looks like a hug. I pat her hair in an attempt to console the three-year-old mumbling threats on my chest.

"Tsunade-hime! Orochimaru!"

"...what am I looking at?"

Tsunade choses that time to land a punch to my groin and break free. I really don't care where she goes. My body folds over and crumbles to the ground.

" _Tsunade_ , you can't just do those things!" Tokonoma helps me stand. "I should take back your dumb dress!"

Her daughter has the decency to look upset. "Nooo! Tsunade sorry!"

"Apologize to the boy, then," Tokonoms says coldly.

Tsunade turns to me, looking down at her brother in pain. "Tsunade sorry," she pouts.

"I should pay for our stuff!" says Hazuo shortly before heading back.

"Come on, children, I have to make sure _Poppy_ doesn't buy anything outrageous."

Tokonoma makes her leave, Tsunade skipping behind the mother. I manage to stand up for the most part and hurry to the Uzumaki. That forces me to run past Tsunade, allowing the toddler to seize my sleeve.

A devilish look contorts her girlish features. "Tsunade kill brother. Tsunade no say sorry," she hisses under her breath.

Even without having super strength, I feel myself flinching from her fists as if the fists tinier than mine can obliterate me with one hit.

"I can hear ya, ya know! Geez!"

Tokonoma drives her own fist on top of Tsunade's head. The girl cries out in pain. I can see several villagers staring at us, baffled.

To think, only one woman is strong enough to stop the terror that is Tsunade.

 **end**


	12. battle

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twelve: _battle_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **The next few months are not nearly as peaceful as the ones before.**

Tsunade keeps everyone on their toes, a fact only noticed when she takes her naps or goes to sleep early. Whenever Tokonoma takes us outside so that she can work, Tsunade needs many toys and games to keep entertained.

That, or me.

She does not like me. Perhaps it could be my unnatural look being more pronounced surrounded by a healthy-faced family. Perhaps it is because Tokonoma prefers to be around me more often than her. Or, perhaps she is upset that she gets into trouble far, far more often than I do.

I use Tsunade as a monitor to track my own milestones. If she can write two alphabets, so can I. If she is completely potty trained, so am I. If she can do cartwheels and somersaults, I can _attempt_ those as well.

Of course whenever I allow myself to think about "it", I truly do not know what to do.

Tsunade and I are supposed to be two of the Legendary Three. A group consisting of an amazing medical ninja and a talented prodigy boy, skilled enough to where the Third Hokage firmly believed in the boy becoming Hokage once the darkness was nonexistent.

If I do not top the leaderboard, the dead last and the top kunoichi will have to rely on a second-rate Orochimaru. Is that a good thing? Would that Orochimaru become the next Hokage? Should I truly stop that reality?

Really, I should just do nothing. I should not have been alive for this long.

I think that with pessimism, but I can't ignore the fragments of hope within me. Fragments that want me to accompany Jiraiya with the Rain Orphans, to somehow save Nagato Uzumaki from the pain that follows the Rinnegan. What if I could stop the Uzumaki Clan's destruction, prevent Tsunade's brother from dying alone, enjoy a better world with a _functional team_ for once?

But that is not something I should do. I should not pretend to be a god in a world I once read. I should not be in this world. What if I fall the down the same path as Orochimaru? What if this foreknowledge makes me more efficient as a murderer and scientist? I cannot say.

Orochimaru's presence had benefited the Leaf. His experiments, though inhumane and disgusting, allowed Tenzou or Yamato to exist, provided Edo Tensei to defeat Madara, among other things.

I worry... I worry I'll follow in his footsteps once more. Orochimaru may have been capable of those deeds, but not _me_. Only one man can do these things and that man is named _Orochimaru_.

In the end, I don't know what to do. I'm too attached to this world to end it all, so I continue existing.

Because Tsunade requires so much attention, it's easy to sneak away and be alone without no one noticing, at least, no one tries to seek me. I can do nothing but practice calligraphy, finding the idea of turning my ugly strokes into the fluid beauty of Hazuo and other famous artists invigorating.

When my hand throbs and stiffens after too long, I play with the energy nested inside this body. To move it is like moving cold, powerful waters with the will alone. The physical energy within me is a great, feverish heat that tickles under my skin or my other five senses. The spiritual energy is a subtle pressure from the depths of my consciousness, a very soft feeling that tends to slips from my grasp if I do not keep focused.

These two energies merge at the center of the body: the core, the factory of chakra production and control. The core connects the surging waters to every sinew of the body. Just feeling the force coursing through my body is a wild journey, aside for the fact that after awhile, the presence begins to feel like snakes slithering within.

When mediation becomes tedious, I begin to mess with my chakra. I practice using it to stick to things, first with the already sticky _natto_ for breakfast to the heavy items in the room like my stuffed lizard. I practice manipulating my chakra outside of me, watch as the pale blue aura glows like a flashlight in the middle of day.

But with nothing other than to follow Tokonoma and Hazuo to their jobs or do chores, I start to become very, very bored.

I get Hazuo to bring me home scrolls, pictures, and books. I'm sure he thinks I can't read such complex text and only want them to practice writing. Fine by me, of course. I actually can _not_ read the complex books. Not entirely. I have to use a dictionary or ask for help or just wing the meaning until the context becomes clear. My mind _is_ keeping itself preoccupied in the present from thoughts of the future. Even as every day spent in denial leads me a step closer to the future.

Until the present becomes just as unpleasant as the future.

"Life is about to... er, suck for a while, kids," Tokonoma states at lunch, after dragging Hazuo home and meeting with Mito.

"Poppy and Mommy divorced?" Tsunade shouts, eyes wide open, desperate.

"No way! Where'd you even hear that from? _Tobirama_?" Tokonoma huffs. "No, I talked to Momma."

"Don't tell me..." Hazuo trails off and takes Tokonoma's hand.

It is strength for her to continue. "There's going to be way strict rules, and we won't have a lot of the things we take for granted. But... well, Daimyou-sama has officially declared war."

The pleasant aroma of still hot food fades to nothing. The appetite that had once pained my stomach, is replaced with a cold weight.

The First Shinobi War.

The war of Hashirama's death.

Just imagining Tokonoma's face...

"Leaf wins," Tsunade says, the least affected. "'Cause Tsunade home strong. That why Tsunade borned. No sad, Mommy, Poppy... brother."

"Tsunade..." Tokokoma stops herself and laughs.

 _Laughs_. I have never seen her laugh before. Unlike everything about her, the laugh is girly and high pitched and, frankly, cute.

"Of course we're gonna win," Tokonoma grins. "We got _my_ dad on the frontlines! Trust me, I'm not worried. But Momma says the village still needs to be extra cautious. We're still so young and little."

"I believe in Hokage-sama," Hazuo says, adding a nod. "With a man as gregarious and powerful as he, the Leaf will be in good hands."

This weight in my stomach grows heavier.

 _If you'd have just died, you wouldn't feel this ache_.

 _But I'm still here_ , I reply.

"Oi."

My forehead starts to ache. I look up to see Tokonoma lowering the hand that just flicked me.

"Don't be so scared, Orochimaru. You're in good hands now."

"Be careful, Tokonoma. His parents were..."

"I _know_. I'm just saying. Hazuo and I are going nowhere. Neither is Tsunade or _you_. You better believe it."

Her eyes shine intensely, so enchanting I can't look away. I certainly can't believe those words, but I can't say they do not make me happy.

 **end**


	13. ache

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

thirteen: _ache_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **I found myself feeling lonely.**

Tokonoma had stopped going out to win small games for money and began leaving home for longer and longer periods of time. Faced with Tsunade's domineering attitude, Hazuo preoccupied his time between working and satisfying Tsunade.

I, never having asked for anything major, received nothing major in return. And so I alternate between writing and reading and fooling around with this arcane force within me, until everything becomes too easy and boring.

Not even Tsunade could entertain me. She is too noisy for Hazuo's job, so she needs a babysitter: Biwako. Biwako is similar to the girl with her confidence and almost brutal honesty, but keeps her elegance compared to Tsunade's tomboy-ish spirit—despite the little girl's cute dresses. Biwako and Tsunade are easy to avoid, except for mealtimes.

But more often than not, I am alone when I don't want to be. Watching the world from my window starts to become a chore as men and women who frequent the streets disappear and never return. The quality and variety of food sold diminish to the bare minimum the Land of Fire can produce. There are shortages of products and items that used to litter the house vanish bit by bit. Now only empty space and memories remain.

I'm certain that the war distances me from the family. I can feel these once strong emotions of love and happiness barely something more than a shadow. Ending my life starts to become more bearable, but I still can't do it. I still have to distract myself.

And so I decide to externalize this pain using exercise. This means push-ups, crunches, stretches, running, lunges, the works. I push my young body to do more and more and more, using the pain and soreness to preoccupy myself. And it _works_.

I feel like a piece of me is missing as I push myself to pain, but at least I'm still alive, right?

The greatest pain comes from breaking my arm. It was all my fault for doing one too many push-ups. I show Biwako my arm, show her the bone that had pierced through the skin, spilling red that appears unnatural on my ghostly skin. Rather than be horrified, Biwako touches my arm and a green glow emerges.

Soft energy like a warm breeze spreads through my arm. The energy numbs the area it touches, so I have a faint sensation of what she does.

"Tsunade, look," she calls and the toddler stares at my arm, too.

Biwako resets the bone and I can feel how hot the limb gets. After a while, she removes her hands. It looks as if nothing happened to my arm at all, but it aches slightly and still feels weak.

"What's next?" Biwako says, gazing at Tsunade expectantly.

"Bandage it!"

"Yes, ma'am. Would you like to do it?"

Tsunade expertly wraps my arm up with a thick, heavy cloth. My fingers are slightly deprived of blood and the tightness makes the ache hurt worse.

But it's accurately placed, like a professional.

I bow respectfully to the two women. Biwako advises me how to care for my arm and what she'll have to tell Hazuo. Meanwhile Tsunade grins arrogantly, possibly proud she got to show off her skills.

"You fell, Orochimaru?" Hazuo repeats, looking between Biwako and I.

"Yes, that's what he agrees with," Biwako says, "but I don't think that is the full story. His muscles have suffered repeated micro-tears and have experienced scarring. This has not been recent."

Hazuo kneels to eye-level with me. "Is there something you're not telling us?"

I shake my head before I can think of anything else. At this point, it doesn't really matter what happens to me.

"I know you're quite reserved, however this goes beyond solitary to merely being secretive. Being secretive is not okay, Orochimaru."

I'm not used to seeing Hazuo disappointed. I can't help but to hang my head and let my draping hair shield me.

"Okay... I apologize, but I cannot let this continue. I don't want to see you hurt. And what will Tokonoma say about this? Won't she be hurt, too? If I punish you now, you will not be punished by Tokonoma. What do you say?"

Reluctantly, I nod.

"Considering you... I think this will work, definitely," the Senju aristocrat thinks aloud, looking at the heavens before returning my gaze. "As your punishment, you cannot read books nor write and... you must interact with Tsunade much, much more. For one week."

My heart aches.

I nod, trying to fight this pain in my eyes, but it spills over into hot tears.

 **end**

* * *

Don't fear, the angst will

only get worse before it gets better.

Thanks for the 100-plus follows~ I estimate Academy days begin in 5 to 10 chapters from now, if you're one of the few looking forward to that.


	14. teacup

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

fourteen: _teacup_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **"Oh, Mister Snake Eyes, you so nice!"**

Tsunade pretends to drink hot white tea from her quaint little cup. She pats demurely at her face with a napkin.

"Miss Flower, Tsunade love tea," the girl smiles.

"Thank you, Miss Princess." Biwako gestures to the plate at the center of the circular table, where there are sandwiches cut up into perfect squares and lightly sweetened green tea candy. "Care for more food?"

" _Yes_!"

As Tsunade takes the majority of the food, Biwako looks at me. "Mister Snake Eyes, you've barely eaten anything!"

I bite the sandwich, just a small piece. It goes down my throat as a tasteless paste.

Biwako does not look satisfied at all.

"What's wrong, Orochimaru?" Her big, mahogany eyes seem airbrushed in the light. "Why does this sadness follow you?"

Tsunade burps.

"So yummy!" Tsunade clutches her rosy cheeks. "Hey, hey! Save some for Poppy and Granpoppy, Miss Flower!"

Just like that, Biwako smiles pleasantly. "Most certainly. I plan to."

"Mister Snake Eyes, Tsunade finished tea," she announces.

As custom, no one may be allowed to fill their own cups. Once again, I pick up the ornate teapot and pretend to pour tea. I set it down cautiously while Tsunade _drinks_ it all up.

" _Ahhh_! Yummy!"

Biwako and I know if we actually gave her tea, she'd probably drink too much and end up using it on herself. I'm pretty sure I'm not much better, too.

"Ah, Mister Snake Eyes, you thirsty?" Tsunade picks up the teapot for the first time since setting it down to begin the game. She pours it the exact same delicate way I did, tilts it over my cup for the same amount of time. "Here you go."

The cup is empty, but I keep staring at it.

"Not thirsty?" Tsunade's smile vanishes.

I take the cup and mime drinking it, receiving a delightful giggle from the other toddler.

That was shocking, honestly. Even Biwako looks amazed.

 **end**


	15. falling

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

fifteen: _falling_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **The sound of glass shattering wakes me up.**

For a moment, I can't decipher if that was a vivid, surprising dream or reality. Until I noticed a bump in my covers that is absolutely human-shaped.

I peel back the covers to see Tsunade. Not surprising.

Her crying is.

"Stop, brother, Tsunade hiding!" whines the little girl before she starts sobbing.

The dizzy spell of just waking up quickly disappears as anxiety takes over. I slide the door open and Tsunade stops my too late. A conversation drifts in from the small crack.

"Tokonoma, love, _please_ —!"

"I could have saved him! _I coulda_! I know my fathe. He deserved a more gracious death than that!"

Something else is shattered.

"I understand that you are in pain, but, please, your father may be looking upon you. Let him rest peacefully."

"Shut up, Hazuo, just _shut it_. He could've defeated that Tailed Beast just like with the Nine Tails without dying. If Lighting hadn't threatened to destroy the Daimyou, he wouldn't have sacrificed himself. If I could have—could have died in his place!"

"But you are still _alive_. You have two children who need you. You still have family that love you. The Hokage does whatever in his power to protect the village, and that is what Hashirama-sama died doing."

My limbs turn weak. I sit against the wall, drained of energy, watching Tsunade cry. Maybe she understands her grandfather is dead. Maybe their yelling terrifies her.

I find myself closing the door.

The next morning, Hazuo makes a small breakfast, but nobody really eats anything. Tokonoma is silent and cold, drinks her tea before leaving the home. Hazuo is the one to tell us the news, which makes Tsunade cry all over again.

We all must attend the First Hokage's funeral and watch as the second Hokage is made official.

Tsunade looks at her grand uncle Tobirama almost on the verge of crying. She holds Hazuo's hand tightly and I find out that black is such a sad color on Tsunade.

Tokonoma, however, remains stone-faced. Once everything is over, once people stop talking to the Hokage's only daughter, Tokonoma walks away, not heading back to the house.

I chase after her.

Because I realize that Tobirama just might die next.

How would she...

"Stop following me! Geez!"

Her voice is like thunder. I can see even with this fading sunlight that we've reached the Memorial Stone.

Tokonoma falls to her knees in front of it.

"Get away from me, Orochimaru," she continues softly. "I don't have the patience to deal with you, boy."

I get a feeling she doesn't want to be left alone.

And so I sit in her lap. She can't ignore me now.

"What are you doing? I said _go_. _I'm fine_."

I take her hand and put it on my hair. She starts to comb with her fingers through the thin locks and pull at knots.

"A ninja who can't accept death," Tokonoma says eventually. "What am I, really? A coward? Why'd it have to be so painful? Why can't I be like Uncle Tobi and get through this? Everyone says we're so similar and yet—yet they couldn't be further from the truth!"

With her freehand, she traces names engraved onto the stone. All of them have Senju or Uzumaki surnames.

"Uncle Tobi said if he died in this war, I'll become the next Hokage. I should have been honored, right? No. I turned him down. I told him... I told him I could never, ever be as brave as Dad. I'm a wimp. I cry when you three don't come home on time. Uncle Tobi would have never cried. He would stay strong. And he has seen so, so much more death and violence than me."

Hashirama died at fourty-two. That would mean his older brother Tobirama probably has half a century worth of war experience. And to think, some veterans only participated in war for five times less and returned forever changed and haunted.

"He should be so disappointed Dad's last kid still alive is too afraid to be Hokage. No way could Momma become a Hokage—not as a jinchuuriki. The other villages wil kill two assets of the village instead of one. It's too dangerous. Such a shame, you know. Momma's so strong. That's why she holds the beast and not me."

Her hands clench, pulling too roughly at my hair. I bite my tongue and endure. I'm certain that a person who finally spills their feelings would not like to be interrupted by something so minor.

"How could I have such an amazing family and be so worthless?" Tokonoma pleads. " _Why_? Why do I have to fail and they succeed? What went wrong with _me_?"

"You are not Hashirama Senju, Tobirama Senju, nor Mito Uzumaki. You are Tokonoma Senju of the Leaf."

Both Tokonoma and I turn to see Hazuo standing, just a silhouette in front of the sunset, a bronze halo around his body.

Tsunade runs to her mother, calling her name and wrapping her arms around Tokonoma. With her so close to me, I can wipe away some of her tears. In her sadness, she doesn't fight back.

"What's that even mean?" Tokonoma retorts, flushing. "There are _barely_ any Senju left and all the Uzumaki live at Whirlpool. The last remainders of my family are dying, and they're dying as heroes not—n-not as a nobody like me."

"And what is the matter with that?"

Not expecting his response or his tone, Tokonoma stares at him. Hazuo steps closer, gradually.

"You do not have to live up to their standards. Forget whatever the villagers think you should be—all that matters is that Tokonoma is proud to be who Tokonoma is."

She doesn't respond.

"No one said you had to be a hero. Some do become heroes and some do not, but being a hero does not mean you'll enjoy your life. Sometimes, all that matters is being able to see the sun shine on your loved ones or watching as yet another day goes by. Everyone always misses the smallest things because everyone thinks nothing matters unless they are big."

Tsunade squeezes all of us. I can feel Tokonoma's thudding heart.

"I mean," continues Hazuo, "is waking up next to a loved one not a victory? Is carrying Tsunade for nine months and giving birth to your first child not a victory? Is having the ability to breathe and grow with a family not a victory? It would seem so! Tokonoma seems to believe all the victories in life are saving villages and becoming globally known. If everyone thought like that, _no one_ would victorious."

"Hazuo, you're missing the point—my father is a hero, my mother is a hero, my uncle is a hero, and _then there's me_." She starts to break free from the hung. Tsunade and I hold onto her sleeves and trap her in our embrace.

"And what's the matter with that, Tokonoma? If that's your reasoning, shouldn't I berate myself for not being like Hokage-sama or Mito-sama? If they're heroes, I simply _must_ become a hero as well."

"I'm the daughter of heroes! I have higher expectations!"

Tokonoma's voice is desperate as she turns away. Hazuo is within reaching distance of her, yet he doesn't reach for her.

"But anyone can see that does not matter! You do not have to follow in someone's path you know isn't right for you! Look at me. I could be at the Court, bathed in gold and luxury like the generations of aristocrats that came before me. And yet I abandoned that expectation because I loved a certain woman. Cherishing her for the rest of my life was my _victory_."

The Uzumaki-Senju gulps.

"I do not need to save villages and stop wars to be victorious. It is my victory to be able to love you and have a family. I may have not moved mountains, but I feel like a Hokage! I wouldn't mind dying because I know everyday I spend with you all, I make sure you all know how much I love my victory."

I feel Tokonoma tremble. Shortly after, she inhales. I hear a familiar noise not even her attempt at muffling it could stop. I stare at Tsunade as I continue to hug her, thinking. _Is Tokonoma crying? Do I want to see that? Do I want to remember it?_

I take too long to decide, for strong arms wrap all three of us into a bigger hug. A steady chest has two girls who weep: one girl with the inelegant tears of a toddler and one girl who struggles to let the tears go. The two cry and cry, only quieting down when it's well into night. The moonless sky makes it hard to see their faces, but I don't think I'd want to remember such a thing.

"Hazuo...?"

"Yes, love?"

"I'm starving. Go cook."

 **end**

* * *

* A reviewer pointed that the general consensus is that Hashirama died of old age. So, bear the discrepancy, please.

* Thanks for 100+ follows and favorites and our first community~

* If you're one of the few concerned about chapter length, the next three to five chapters are nearly 2k words. I'm not sure if you consider that a good amount, but it is almost four times as big as many chapters already.

* I've outlined this arc out. There are five chapters until the Ninja Academy, if you're one of the few readers looking forward to that.


	16. friendly

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

sixteen: _friendly_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **"Why are you so quiet, Orochimaru?"**

My heart almost leaps out my chest. In front of me, invading my personal space, is none other than a familiar person—even if I'm nothing but a stranger to him. With my connections, I knew we'd meet sooner or later.

"Stop being so stubborn!" Biwako speaks without the polite and feminine speech she used with Hazuo. It's only a change that can be invoked by close people to her heart. "I told you he doesn't talk."

"Is he mute?" he replies, observing me more keenly. "Did he lose the ability to speak?"

Biwako looks up from her medical textbook, grabs her ruler, and hits her best friend's head. Hard. "His body is fine, it's just a mental barrier than a _professional_ should attempt to undo, not you."

He holds onto his head, starting to fidget severely from the pain. "I won't force him to talk, I'm only curious. I wonder... did he see something he wasn't supposed to? Maybe he can't understand our language?"

She snorts and resumes taking notes. "That kid isn't dumb. Wouldn't call him a genius like you, but he's not going to kill himself stupidly."

I wince before realizing why. Upon seeing that, her best friend's sour look brightens.

"It's about death! It's something to do with death!" Satisfied, his scrutinizing concludes. "He seems interesting. No wonder Big Sis Toko took him in."

Biwako says nothing. I halfheartedly hope for Tsunade to interrupt them, but she's with her Senju family. And with Hazuo working, I have nobody to watch me.

Hazuo ended up making a D-Rank mission to babysit me. As soon as we got home, two people were knocking on our door. Biwako, who had wanted to watch Tsunade and me, and her best friend who currently couldn't take any rigorous mission for two weeks.

"She wouldn't pity him, that's for sure. She's the kind of woman who treats everyone the same—even when she shouldn't," he says.

"I prefer her honesty than _his_ callousness anyday," Biwako says.

"He's clever, Biwa. It's saved our asses more than once, you know! I can't help but admire that."

Judging his words and actions as of now, he doesn't seem to be the deceiving type. One look at his youthful face and one could be content knowing everything about him. Kind and generous to a fault. Stubborn when his loved ones were endangered. And a poor judge of character due to his obscene levels of trust. It is a mystery how Biwako found herself with him.

"It's neat babysitting a mute though," he continues. "Usually, I have to watch everything I say. I mean, I still _am_ , but not as much. I feel like I'm not hiding anything from you!"

"You do understand he's four, right? Talk about simple things!"

"Boring. Anyway, this child is obviously very different. He can sit idly without needed attention. He doesn't need to be kept entertained. He lets you know patiently he's hungry... How do some children come out the womb this matured? I mean with Tsunade-hime, you wouldn't expect this kind of child from Big Sis Toko!"

Biwako promptly throws her book at him. He catches it, but his body must really be damaged because the book slips through his fingers and collides into his face.

 _Of course I'm a bit mature. I don't remember how four-year-olds react. Apart from Tsunade, that is._

"Ouch ouch _ouch_!" He rubs his nose and hands her the textbook. "I'm still injured!"

"And I'm a medic, so what's your point? I know all your limitations. And clearly, this doesn't warrant a healing." She smirks to herself.

Her friend can only laugh.

Eventually when her friend becomes too antsy and starts lightly training, Biwako closes her textbook and watches me. She's adamant I don't see her friend and takes great care to do very, very boring children things. She reads me stories about myths diluted down to kindergarten level, lets me practice cleaning up my room, teaches me basic hygiene. All tasks are idle, unimportant tasks and unusual at that. Why would a ninja clan and a ninja household with ninja babysitters teach me basic civilian stuff?

Tsunade has gloated to me about holding kunai and shuriken, about learning how to punch people. Sometimes when I sneak past her room, Hazuo reads her a ninja tale.

Is this favoritism?

 _Can't be. He said so himself—Tokonoma treats everyone the same._

And Hazuo doesn't seem like the kind to enforce this on me. Something is amiss.

Tokonoma returns home three days later from the war, nursing a wounded arm. I step in front of her, intending on confronting her at last.

"Yo, Orochimaru," she smiles. "I missed you. Looks like you missed me too. Well, what's up? Why did you run to me so quickly?"

...and I find I don't want to. Not yet.

I give her hug, feeling a little satisfied she returns it without hesitating.

Biwako and her friend continue watching me, until one day she enters the home without him.

"It's only me today," she says politely, distantly. "My friend is on a very important mission. If this works, the war will be over. Are you excited about that, Orochimaru? Then Tokonoma will be home more often."

I _should_ be excited. But knowing what's happening miles away from the safety of the Leaf turns my stomach into cold lead.

 **end**


	17. angel

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

seventeen: _angel_

orochimaru: four years

years to second war: twenty years

* * *

 **The second funeral we attend does not hurt as bad.**

Hiruzen stands before the crowd, voice raw as he struggles to fight back tears. Many look upon his young, handsome features and see boy too sweet and kind for his own good. In this moment, he seems strong. Stronger than the weeping villagers and far stronger than those who had fallen in combat. Everyone sees him as a leader.

Almost everyone.

With Hiruzen's insistence, there are four people who stand behind him. One man almost escapes my attention had I not recognized the look of jealousy on his face.

 _Danzou Shimura_.

It's still so early into this story that the name doesn't invoke terror. Danzou is simply a talented and crafty ninja, completely outshone by Hiruzen. His shoulders slouch too much, his clothes are wrinkled and dirty in places a strategic and deliberate man wouldn't allow. He is not the man I know.

But, like me, he could become that villainous man.

As if hearing my thoughts, he makes eye contact with me. It is only because I had been staring too long and his heightened senses picked up on it. Still, my body shivers being the subject of his gaze.

If I am reacting like this, then I can't sway him from his fate. Even so, Danzou's existence is vital for the Leaf as well. If his presence were gone, would the Leaf be as unrivaled? Is it really my place to stop him?

Danzou stares at me without much emotion. After all, he sees a toddler with a few bruises and tightly-wrapped bandages making his thin body smaller. He does not see a legendary figure.

No one sees that in me.

He looks away, apparently bored, then to Hiruzen. He smiles friendly, while his hands spasm, drawing in on themselves to create a fist.

I let go—no, I yank my hand out Tokonoma's grip, turn, and dash off. A sea of black awaits me. I unkindly throw myself at whatever gaps I can find between people, suffocating in the heat of too many bodies in one area.

I wonder what I'm doing here? Why am I letting this go on for so long? I don't have to worry about what choice to take if I just died, right?

I burst through the last row of people, vaguely aware of the startled shouts behind me. I want it to rain and rain so I can throw myself into a puddle. Instead, it starts to snow.

I shut my eyes and let my feet carry me away. Somewhere. Somewhere. I can't handle anyone else. I can't handle myself.

Chilly, soft spots press against my body is if a person with cold fingers is trying to tap me. For a second, I think someone called my _real name_.

No-one's here. No-one's called my name.

Although in front of me is my... Orochimaru's parents. Their remains haunt me sometimes, when I think too hard.

 _What am I doing?_

No-one responds.

 _Why am I doing this?_

No-one answers.

 _Why can't I stop?_

No-one listens.

I stare up at the sky, hoping for a sign. All I see is the gradual increase of snowfall. The snowflakes glow in the light like little angels, too beautiful and otherworldly. I don't dare touch. They'll be forever destroyed.

 _I could freeze to death..._

I imagine the cold reaching every sinew of my body, making me immobile, letting me rest in cold slumber forever.

 _Cold isn't supposed to be warm._ A surprised thought breaks my reverie.

There _is_ heat wrapping around my shoulder. The more it lingers, the more I feel the shape of a hand. I tilt my head slightly just enough to see grayish-white hair in my peripheral.

"Hey, that wasn't cool, pal," the person is saying. "You gotta be more polite than that."

It is a boy, a roguish and slowheaded boy judging his voice. I keep watching the ethereal skies.

"What in the...? Hey, don't ignore me! You think you can just get away with that, _huh_?"

I close my eyes, reminded too much of Tsunade. After exhaling, I watch the boy—

 _No_.

"Ah, so you can hear me!" He gives me a toothy grin. "Good! If you can hear me, then answer! Yunno, _nod_ or _shake_."

The sun makes his spiky, snowflake-like hair glow as well, though not nearly as much as the falling snow. White fluffs land in his hair and melt. His slightly wet mane has taken on a more opalescent color.

 _He_ looks like an angel.

"Wh-What's with that look? Man... aren't you weird. 'S that purple stuff eye makeup? Like what ladies wear?"

He hardly changed compared to his much older self. The one I admired greatly. I know I should be glad to see him. I _know_. There's always something stopping me, though.

He died. I saw it. I _felt_ the pain. I shed the tears.

This radiance around him makes him all the more ghost-like. As if touching him, he'll slide through my fingers like water.

Seeing him makes me want to bow deeply.

 _Thank you, thank you_...

The boy, equally entranced, reaches towards me with a finger. The finger lands on my cheek. It sinks further into the muscle with a little prodding from its owner.

"Your skin's as soft as a girl! But you're not wearing girly mourning clothes. Man, you really are bizarre!"

 _He's touching me_. I blink, not knowing how to react to this deep warmth within me.

"You don't seem too bad. Probably got scared. 'S okay, I don't mind helping ya, but you have to promise me one thing."

He drops his hand, to my dismay.

He soon offers me his pinkie finger, smiling.

"You _have_ to be a good person," he tells me, dark eyes seemingly endless. "I only protect good people."

I find myself interlocking my pinkie with his own. Like that, a heavy burden falls from my shoulders. The winter stings my cheeks and nose. My hands are numb with cold.

My body is freezing except in my heart and the skin pressed together with our two fingers.

"Hey, promise me!"

Looking at him is like looking at two sides of a coin at the same time. He would grow to become an amazing man with a honorable death. Even young, he was a unique person. I enivied those who could meet him, whether or not it something insignificant as waving at him.

I _had_ to see him again. I missed these feelings he gave me. They tried to reach me with Tokonoma, Hazuo, and Tsunade, but never stayed as long as they do now.

 _I remember now. This is happiness._

I smile. His eyes reflect me perfectly.

Breathing in, I quietly whisper _I promise_ with a voice I had never used before.

 **end**

* * *

Guest brings up a good point- but what is canon to you? Is it Naruto's birth, Naruto's graduation, or something else? I've always felt like the major endpoint or climax of this story is the Second War, how it'll play out with a different cast, as I indicate in every chapter introduction with the countdown. If that's canon, then this pace couldn't be _that_ slow, could it?

A thousand chapters is a lot!

But I update fairly often- I mean, 17 chapters in 2 months is really excellent, you know! (Well, they're on the short side, but still!)

 _Stuck Between Slugs and Toads_ will be completed with the Second War as the Legendary Sannin's story stops becoming their own and turns into Naruto's. Ie, our Orochimaru will just become a side character. Maybe it could go further, but my goal is the Second War. And if that's canon, I won't need a thousand chapters to get to that point, haha~


	18. chronicle

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

eighteen: chronicle

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **I haven't seen him since.**

But the amount of times I've seen him in my dreams or thought about him makes me feel like he never left.

I _have_ to become top ninja no matter. I have to join him on his journey. I can't say if I'll follow Orochimaru's path or take a different route. I can't say this decision is well-thought out.

This newfound drive within me is too precious to let die. Whenever I think about being on a team with _him_ , it makes getting the day a bit more easy.

That's not to say I think these thoughts at arbitrary times of the day. I think them only when I study and train my hardest to catch back up. I lack the genius mind of this body's true soul, but hard work still _works_.

Every morning before dawn, I wake up. I meditate for an hour, calming my thoughts and aligning my spiritual energy. I then practice chakra control techniques such as internal and external manipulation. Internal manipulation are techniques like performing techniques. External manipulation involves taking chakra and pushing it outside my body to do things such as stick objects to my hands.

Once the sun rises an adequate amount, I get outside and move my body. Running, walking, strength, aerobic. Anything to make my lungs burn and my heart on the verge of bursting so that I know my physical energy grows as well. I need to know my limits so I know exactly how to beat them and progress further.

By the time I finish, Tokonoma has finished her morning routine and finally wakes up Hazuo. The food smell then wakes up Tsunade, and we all enjoy a nice breakfast now the war has ended.

"I'm off to work," Tokonoma says, standing up quickly. "Anyone wanna tag along?"

"Can Biwako watch Tsunade?" says the little girl, ready to leap out her seat.

"No, she's busy today. Next week she should be free."

The energy vanishes. Tsunade wrinkles her nose. "Nope! Tsunade stays home!"

Tokonoma sighs. "Okay, fine. How about you go on a play date with your friend?"

Tsunade, grinning, jumps out her seat. "Come on, Mommy, go go go!"

"Right, right." Tokonoma then looks at me. "You're staying?"

I nod and finish slurping my noodles.

Tokonoma bites the inside of her cheek.

"I'm very happy you enjoy my work so much," Hazuo says gently, "but Orochimaru should have fun and enjoy life. After all, the future seems bright!"

I still don't move. Today, I plan to find ninjutsu theory scrolls and books to practice making real techniques. The sooner I can learn, the better I'll inevitably be. I could entertain Tokonoma at a later date.

The Uzumaki continues to stare at me before Tsunade forces her to leave. Guilt pulls at my stomach and ruins my appetite. Still, I join Hazuo to his work.

Hazuo sits in his desk and starts organizing all the equipment he needs so he won't have to get up again. Knowing that, I search the aisles and find a few items of interest before scuttling off to a far away dark corner. Content, I sit and begin to read. While I have improved, my reading isn't perfect. There are gaps in my knowledge and even more gaps when it comes to traditional and ancient language. Though I may be able to understand spoken language, I doubt I could read a novel or textbook.

Using a dictionary and infering, I manage to mostly understand whatever I read which made practice go by without much frustration.

After awhile, I try to preform E-Rank techniques like Transformation or After Image. Very basic skills Academy students learn. I'd been doing these for months, so my only issue now was my very small reserves, however refined they may be. Because I have such little storage, it's all the more important I have excellent chakra control so that no energy is wasted.

By the time Hazuo is ready to leave, I'm exhausted. He lets me ride on his back, mistaking my chakra fatigue for the naturally low stamina of little children. At home, I take a hot bath and sleep before the girls return.

My days play out similarly, almost blurring together into a single memory. To help, I start to chronicle my progress. It starts out as objective facts, but I can't but get a little sentimental. I mean, this is such a lonely goal I've made for myself.

 _Can run for almost an hour straight using chakra enhancement now. I wonder if you-know-who can run even faster. If he's still the same... he'd have plenty of experience running away._

 _I just mastered Transformation Technique. Still working on vocal manipulation, but that's a bit too advanced for my current state. I would love to help_ him, _but his journey is different than mine._

 _I went with Tokonoma today. She let my try out a challenge booth. When I threw the shuriken, my aim wasn't terrible, but it wasn't as flawless as Tokonoma's. Reminds me of the time_ he _tried to copy me in front of Hiruzen. No, Hokage-sama._

 _I passed out today. That was too much strain on my body. I wonder if_ he _can do this better than me. He loves to endure no matter what._

The comments made me feel even more lonely, but, in a way, relieved.

 **end**


	19. stolen

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

nineteen: _stolen_

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **I open the door to my room, ready to crash, and freeze.**

Tsunade sits at my floor desk, holding something I know too well.

"What's this," she asks, holding out _the_ journal. "Why brother write in here and not talk to Tsunade or Mommy?"

Should I approach cautiously? I just want that journal to be safe in my hands.

"Tsunade can't read this," she continues. "Tsunade'll give it to Mommy."

Just my luck. She had to find the journal because I decided to take a longer bath tonight.

I can't stand seeing it in her hands. I step forward.

Tsunade springs to her feet and grips the journal tightly. "Don't understand. Why's this special to you? Tsunade not good enough?"

She is growing angry. With this anger, comes tears. Not a drop fals but they threaten to do so soon.

How can I tell her I only draw away now so we can be together in the future? She won't understand or ask too many questions that'll make me look bad. Plus, I don't want to burden a little girl.

I feel chakra pulsing in my feet. Thinking on it momentarily, I decide to push forward. My enhanced speed is enough to cross the distant almost instantaneously, but Tsunade, having excellent reaction speed, sprints out the way.

 _She_ is _destined to become top kunoichi._

I readjust my path as Tsunade dart out the room. I chase after her, arms outstretched to grab her skirt flying behind her.

My fingertips graze the soft fabric and close around it.

Tsunade starts to feel my tugging. She turns as best she can and he hand reaching towards me glows a dull blue.

 _What technique is that?_

I use my wrist to brush away her palm. Upon contact, my hand weakens.

Quickly, Tsunade grazes the hand gripping her skirt and that weakens, too.

With both my hands responding too slowly to my command, Tsunade trips me and continues running. My elbows end up break my fall as I try to regain feeling in my hands. It doesn't take long.

"Mommy! Look! This is brother's!"

"Is that why you were running? I told you not to do that in the house!"

"Look! Read it, please!"

"' _Pl-Please_ '? From you?"

I scramble to my feet and run into the kitchen. Tsunade frowns at me while Tokonoma... with Hazuo looking over her shoulder... is reading the journal.

 _No_ , I want to cry. I end up fall to my knees and catch my breath. If they don't read too far, they won't see those sentimental comments. If they don't finish, they won't know about the future I saw.

Tokonoma looks up at me. Rather, the loud noise I made.

"What is this?" Her voice is tiny, without emotion. Even Hazuo observes me with a complex expression. " _Well_?"

I tighten my fists resting submissively on my knees. Despite it, she does not calm down.

"Why do _you_ want to be a ninja? No-one expects that from you, you know! You don't have a clan, don't have a contingency, and no last name to control you! You can grow up _normal_ , Orochimaru—a choice that Tsunade doesn't have. Tsunade will _always_ be the First's granddaughter and to live a path away from that will only result in her being shamed. What do _you_ have to lose?"

Suppressing a small gasp, I look at Tsunade. She looks at Tokonoma warily, for once unable to predict her mother's response. In her eyes, I see regret.

 _Was Hazuo scorned for not becoming a ninja? For marrying an Uzumaki? Is that why the Senju Clan dissolved so quickly?_ I spend the silence thinking while Tokonoma stares at me, face rapidly turning red.

"He seems to do this for a dear person," Hazuo adds gently, showing her the journal and breaking her intense gaze.

"A _person_? Not for us? Not for the family who raised him? But a _stranger_?"

"This person may be a stranger to us, but the way he writes about him tells a different story." He closes the book while there are still pages left until my ramblings of the future. "We may not know everything about Orochimaru, but it is okay. There's still so much time left to be a family."

Tokonoma furrows her brows as her body wants vehemently deny his words but her trembling lips won't let her speak.

"I admire the Orochimaru I read," Hazuo continues, jarring the silent tension. "There is passion and motivation. He is very unlike our silent, complacent houseguest. Tell me you used to see the lonely gaze he used to make? If becoming a ninja helps him grow a person, then I give him my permission." He smiles at me.

"It's not a path I want just _anyone_ to walk down, Hazuo! It's because he's broken and depressed that I want him to live normally! His only family got murdered by ninja, his Hokage were murdered by ninja—there's no good reason why he should follow down that path! Geez!

"Orochimaru," Tokonoma calls, "tell me right now: do you think this person is enough risking a happy and ignorant life as a villager to enter a cold and evil world? Didn't you hear Hazuo? Life isn't about being a hero like Pops or Tobi. It's okay to find happiness in the ordinary.

"Geez, answer me!"

Truthfully, what I want, what I've always wanted...

But I think I never had a choice. One way or another, this life would have come to me. It's better I enter it now while I still have this pleasant feeling of hope.

It's a shame, though. Maybe Tokonoma saw that I would become a simple villager like her husband. That would explain why she never taught me anything about ninja arts like Tsunade.

 _She cares about you_ , I think with a warming chest. _From that day near the grave, she's cared about you._

If I were to repay that care, would it make her happy? I could abandon this goal and please her, at the cost of my happiness. No, Tokonoma wouldn't like that.

I bite my lip, sit straight up, and respond.

Tokonoma's face falls slightly. Even she must know I couldn't quit. Yes, she would be glad but then I would never be. In the end, that would hurt her the most.

And so she tries to seal away her anguish with a vaguely angry face. "Okay. Okay, you win. You can become a ninja. But if that road is too much for you, return home. We'll always be there for you, boy. Don't get a big head and think you can do all of this yourself. Geez..."

I smile at her, for her understanding. Maybe her feelings are less caring and more maternal. Either way, it makes me too happy.

Tokonoma personally teaches Tsunade and I ninja techniques and advice. And when March comes, she registers us for the Ninja Academy that April.

The buulding is very, very new. The white paint almost hurts to look at under the sunlight. The red is a very dark color that seemingly absorbs the light and makes shadows blacker. Other than that, this building looks identical to Tokonoma's home, just in a different location.

This school feels like home. There's the yard where I practice sprinting, there's the window to my room...

"I helped Pops build this place," Tokonoma says to us, not smiling. "All because he said he loved the way my house looked. Coming here always creeps me out, but... this should be interesting for you two."

Tsunade grins and she skips along the pathway. "Tsunade is going to be a better kunoichi than Mommy!"

" _Hmph_ , you think I'll allow that?" she retorts halfheartedly.

"You better! Tsunade doesn't like anything other than the best! Granpoppy is watching Tsunade." She holds up the necklace dangling upon her neck. I avoid its reflection. "He told Tsunade to be exceptional."

A bright blush bursts on Tokonoma's cheeks and ears. "Oh- _ho_ , I betcha he said that _after_ teaching you to gamble, right? Geez! _Geez_!"

Tsunade cackles devilishly.

 **end**


	20. academy

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty: _academy_

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **Somehow, I still doubt the blond ponytail in front of me belongs to Tsunade.**

Even as I watch her talk to classmates, write notes, or gaze distractedly out the window, it still feels surreal to share the same fate as Tsunade.

"Brother."

I wince. I _almost_ shared the same fate.

Tsunade had turned around in her desk and now rested her arms on my desk, propping up a bored expression with a hand.

"Tsunade is bored," she tells me.

I stare down at my notebook filled with lecture notes. My handwriting, in my hurry, had become sloppy instead of the neatness I preferred. Any average child would see this and have great difficulty comprehending the message.

But Tsunade, having been exposed to the world of ninja and unknowingly been taught lessons we were going to learn, surpasses everyone.

Plus, she's a bright girl—behind her scarily evil grins.

"Brother's bored too, right?"

I think about telling her, fearing she'd do something irrational like slack off. But then I remember her mother is _Tokonoma Senju_. Her grandmother is _Mito Uzumaki_. I nod.

Tsunade huffs. "Tsunade is going to annoy Sensei. He has a vein that pops out when mad! It's funny!"

 _There's that trademark grin..._

I sweat, hoping that our teacher won't take out his annoyance on Tsunade and me.

But I guess I am somewhat bored as well. School is nothing new and I have practiced and/or mastered many introductory lessons months prior. Still, I won't call myself advanced. I continue to practice in my free time, whether that be sneaking off the library to read textbooks or staying after school to practice. This anxiety or dread within me only ceases if I train.

A few weeks in, I finally the result of my efforts.

We are being tested on reflexes. We stand on the red x painted onto the ground and, emerging from slits on the ground, targets fly into the air. Some are as large as human heads. Other are nothing more than the diameter of an eye.

Tsunade had performed the best, although not in the same was as those before her. We are only limited to punching the targets, but she had grabbed the largest target and used that to hit other targets.

Our teacher was upset and docked "cheating points" from Tsunade's score. It didn't concern the laughing girl much.

There are some students who, following the rules, perform extremely well. Some are more lackluster than others, which is to be expected from six-year-olds and introductory classes.

Eventually, because I lack an official last name, I am one of the last students to be tested.

I step on the x, watching my gray and gold robes hide the bright color. Tsunade cheers for me in the crowd, the only real cheer I get. The rest of the class watches me oddly as far as I can tell.

 _I don't really talk to them much_ , I think. _Or, not at all. I hope I'm not scary._

"Orochimaru," our teacher calls, reading his pen on the clipboard, "shall we begin?"

Everyone else responded immediately, whether it was with confidence or trepidation. I cannot. Breathing in slowly a few times, I steady my heart and nerves. Closing my eyes, I train myself on the locations of every opening, how much effort it would take to reach what.

 _Then_ do I nod.

Our teacher nods and it begins.

The first to appear is a large target to my right, easy enough to take out with a quick punch. Two small targets fly past my face and meet their ends to my fists. Three mid-sized targets shoot up consecutively—on my sides and behind me. Due to their awkward positions, it's too risky to turn and look at them, so I'm forced to take them all out blindly.

After that, the speed and positioning start to become difficult. A sweat breaks out as I make calculations to take out every target while still not compromising myself for future targets. It is a tedious game. Only the strength of my mind can keep me going.

And then what I call the _anomaly_ happens. Every single test has a variation of this. It is a purely random factor designed to completely ruin the pace of the test and make the ninja more clumsy. Nobody had managed to beat the anomaly and continue on as if nothing happened.

I am worried too, that I will mess up like everyone else. It seems impossible to beat.

My anomaly manifested as two mid sized targets. Rather than launching through the air with similar speed of the rest currently, it barely traverses past my knees.

No matter how weird they are, if I don't hit them, I lose points.

But the targets have completed their apex and now head down. My fists are too busy—that is not counting if I can reach them in time.

I think and find I can't _think_ of anything. So I don't.

My body automatically solves the problem. Crouching low, my legs kick the targets. The circular sections of wood flip away so slowly.

And then more targets shoot out, the same speed as before.

And if I rise, then I'll be too slow. They will be fall back to the earth past my fists and too high for a kick. Then I too would have failed the anomaly.

But as I think that, my body still moves without waiting, causing me leap up and align my fists with the center of each target. Allows me to hit them. As I fall, an eye-sized target shoots up. By how I am going down and it am going up, my body decides to kick this target as well.

I land, ready for another. But a pregnant pause clues me in that maybe _that_ was the last one.

 _So mean. Throw in the anomaly near the end to ruin my streak. And it nearly worked._

I rub my sore hands and look at our teacher. There he is, an adult man nervously chewing on his pen and frowning in thought. Before long, his assistant rushes to his side, staring at me and the paper.

They talk to each other in hushed tones.

"Good job, Bro!"

Tsunade messes up my hair in her glee. "You see Sensei? Brother really made him upset! He gets it from Tsunade! Haha!"

I smile at her. I wouldn't doubt I lose points for kicking. But _could_ an Academy student hit those targets by punching? They would have to be godlike...

"Orochimaru!"

Our teacher had concluded his debate. Smiling now, he tells me, "Congratulations, you're the first student to complete this test perfectly!"

"Ehhh? Even with the kicking? Then Tsunade's score should be perfect, too!" The little girl sticks her tongue out.

"Absolutely not! That was _clearly_ against the rules!"

 _But_ , it was innovative. She used the target to hit targets. Maybe that was how I _should have_ done it—used the target to ricochet and hit another target. Yes, hitting each and every target individually is lame in hindsight.

I still have a long, long way to go.

 **end**


	21. notoriety

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty-one: _notoriety_

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **Ever since that test, the classroom gives off a different atmosphere.**

In between breaks, when I leave for the library, Tsunade is always grinning upon my return and throws a protective arm around my shoulders. There are many odd things about this, most notably the fact that she has never done this before.

Not only that, Tsunade spends much more time talking to girls-giggling and whispering. With such a sudden change, I can't help but to notice.

 _Maybe the girls were really impressed with Tsunade's test_ , I tell myself, satisfied by the logic.

Still, whenever I am alone, I feel eyes staring at me. I fail to see anyone around once checking, but I _know_ there's someone there. Considering how Root should not be a thing at this point, I have no clue if I should be very afraid.

Aside from that, I'm sure to stick to a strict training schedule. Sometimes it is ruined by Tokonoma's and Tsunade's spontaneity, but for the most part, I follow the schedule and hit my required goals before the deadline.

Meanwhile Tsunade practices with her friends, parents, and Biwako. She excels the best in medical release, however. No ninja art can tame her as much as medical arts can, for it requires all her focus and effort to heal.

Even in class, when she sits alone at her desk, a medical textbook is open on it, detailing the human body in minute details. Along the body are detailed descriptions and even depictions of other dissections of animals.

Personally, I think it's fascinating. It's no art I would like to pursue myself, but it _is_ interesting.

And perhaps everyone understands Tsunade is studying, because no one dares to speak to her.

 _Is she that scary?_

I tap her shoulder.

Slowly, she looks up.

"What's up?"

 _Maybe it's only because it's me_.

"Medical stuff is fun," Tsunade tells me later as we walk home with Tokonoma, grin more mischievous than anything. "Even Granpops counted on me to be the best kunoichi ever! Ya think I'm gonna let him down? Nuh-uh!"

Tokonoma glances over her shoulder to Tsunade. She doesn't say anything.

"So, so? What does Brother like?"

That, I cannot answer.

Everything is too much a race, too much effort needed to top the charts and go beyond so that I _know_ I am the man who I don't want to be. It's too difficult to develop an interest for anything.

Tsunade's question lingers in my mind.

It distracts me from my book, forces me to reread a single page several times. The only thing mindless enough to do while the question haunts me is throwing shuriken and kunai.

A basket is full of the blunted weapons from the last class. Most of them are covered in dirt and grass, suggesting how good of an aim the person was. I brush the debris off and throw them myself.

 _What do I like?_

In a world like this, the sentence was more or less what I wanted to do with my life. Every ninja is specialized. There are few famous ninja who kept their talents broad. If anything in this world is certain, it's that the geniuses do more than just excel at the basics. There is always a thing so fundamentally different between them and society.

It could be their mind.

It could be their special eyes.

It could be their unique body.

It could be that they can perform a craft to a skill that no one else had ever seen.

I imagine the row of targets as words.

 _Could it be ninjutsu?_ I don't have the reserves but I have the control for many. But it'd be better to excel as something that doesn't have a finite limit.

I throw the kunai at it, crossing it out.

 _Could it be taijutsu?_ But it feels more like a supplemental skill more than anything. Other than Might Guy, it is truly difficult to be seen as a prodigy going along the wrong.

It gets crossed out as well.

 _Then... genjutsu?_ The art is very abstract and secretive, with only few masters. And without the Uchiha's Sharingan, I could never be a true master.

The kunai strikes out the words.

 _What else is there... poisons?_ Becoming a poisons specialist is a broad field. It could entail anything from helpful herbs and medicines to light overdoses and then the typical deadly ones. Although best used a supplemental skill, it is a very versatile and reliable. Almost anything could be a poison if used enough.

 _Should I master in weapons?_ But how would I pay for a master to teach me? How would I learn alone? How would I purchase the weapons I need and their upkeep? I can't say I want to go down that route.

 _Sealing arts?_ No... if I'd end up with Jiraiya... I'd only be learning a redundant skill.

 _Bombs and diversions?_ Although useful for its raw power, I can't find a way to achieve extraordinary levels with it. It's loud and chaotic or, at the very, hard to control.

I think of several options.

 _I need to be special just like I was supposed to be. Should I follow the same route as he to the top?_

I retrieve the kunai. Once they are all are collected, I take a moment to breathe in, and release them into the container.

"Bro!"

I start a little.

Tsunade is marching up to me, smiling with a devious tint.

"Whaddya think you're doing, showing off?"

 _Huh?_

There's no one here.

She points to the Academy building not too far away.

I still don't understand her point.

"Dummy, that's our class. We can totally see you."

 _Still_ , it's lunchtime. The kids have more important things to do than watch me.

Before I know it, it's our last class. Our teacher is explaining events and activities, the classroom is more relaxed now that we are no longer in learning mode.

Tsunade isn't at her desk, but sits a few rows down with some others girls. Due to the curve of the lecture hall styled room, Tsunade and the girls glance at me. Tsunade cheerfully waves back whereas her friends quickly avert their gazes and flush.

 _Am I that scary?_ Again, I should probably interact with them, but in the grand scheme of things, they are not the most important.

Annoyingly, my subconscious senses eyes on me. I know it's girls or the odd boy or two. Every time I met their gaze, they look away.

I'm glad to see Tokonoma when she picks us up.

Still, as the week goes on, the feeling of being watched only intensifies. It's exhausting to remain on high alert so often.

"Bro, you tired?" Tsunade says, hands folded behind her head. "What's wrong?"

I don't need to speak. As we walk through the halls, I meet the gaze of another girl classmate. She runs into the girls bathroom soon after.

"Oh, _that_. I wouldn't worry. They don't bite." She snickers to herself.

 _You saying that makes me even more worried._

The staring gets worse after we do a few more challenges. Tsunade and I get the first two spots without much problem during the chakra control challenge. As we sit on the grass plucking off the dozens of leaves we stuck to our foreheads, I can hear our classmates muttering.

"They're super cool, look at them..."

"I'm never gonna be as good as that!"

"Isn't he cheating? It's just not fair!"

"Hush! What if _Tsunade_ hears you?"

"Ah, he's so cool and mysterious!"

 _What?_

Tsunade, listening as well, must see my reaction on my face for she laughs mockingly. "Hey, what's with that face? Don't you know you're _popular_?"

 _Popular? Me? The one who never speaks?_

And then I realize it.

 _Oh no... from the outside, I really do seem mysterious and cool!_

For all my classmates know, I am a solitary and silent boy who is proficient in ninja arts. Usually calm and able to handle Tsunade, I seem like a total enigma.

I may not be tall, but I am dark and mysterious.

 _What have I done?_

Because if there are admirers, there must definitely be those who are jealous.

 **end**

* * *

It's funny to see so many reviews commenting on the somewhat dismal attitude of the protagonist, haha. I can only say it will get better as the protagonist experiences happiness.

Also, updated this chapter. It felt odd to have him so decisive so quickly so I read the reviews and agreed to change this.


	22. bully

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty-two: _bully_

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **"Ehhhh!"**

Tsunade's awestruck face is unbelievably innocent and pure. For a moment, I forget her general demeanor. "Biwako-sensei is leaving?"

Tokonoma slaps her cheeks and rests her red palms on them. She arches a brow at Tsunade's reflection in the mirror. "What's with that joy? What are you up to?"

"I wanna go too!" Tsunade bounces to her feet and shakes Tokonoma's shoulders. "Please please please!"

"Why the heck would I just agree to that?" Tokonoma shouts, glaring but not stopping Tsunade's shaking.

"School is boring! I wanna learn something fun, yanno!"

"You say it's easy and yet you don't have perfect scores."

"I hate studying, I hate Sensei, and I hate class!"

"And do you hate those friends you have as well?"

Tsunade stops moving only to scowl in disgust. "Only my friend because they like-like Brother."

I drop the small vial of witch hazel.

What was that—?

The small, clear bottle drifts down. As it leans to the side, the liquid starts to spill from it, traveling upwards.

It can't be true... have I really manifested a fan club?

Tokonoma tenses and breathes in harshly. Tsunade just looks over her shoulder wide eyed.

The bottle—it's glass. It will shatter and hurt us—

My pale fingers reach out and grasp the little vial. A bit of liquid falls in my hand, however it was going to end on it anyways. I let out a silent breath.

"Geez," Tokonoma sighs. "Almost gave me a heart attack! Guess they're actually teaching somethin' to ya..."

"'Xactly!" Tsunade strikes while the iron is still hot, easily erasing her concern. "Me and Brother learn a loooot! Lemme go with Biwako-sensei! I won't get behind! Prooomise!"

"Tsunade—"

"Please! Please! You know Poppa'll say yes, so it's up to Momma!"

"And is that my fault you got him wrapped around your finger?"

Tsunade lets go, huffs, and spirals to me. She takes the witch hazel out my hands before I can rub more on my face and grabs my wrist. "Help me! Don't I do good in class?"

I nod.

"Can I sleep and still know what's going on?"

I nod.

"You sleep in class!" Tokonoma shouts.

"It's not real!" the five-year-old easily lies (when I was her age, I could not lie at all). "Brother, can't I catch up if I miss a day of class?"

I nod.

"So, can I catch up with Biwako-sensei if I don't go?"

I take a moment to think. She could at a later date—not nearly as quickly as a class setting.

Before I can reply, Tsunade says triumphantly, "See? No yes! Momma, please!"

Tokonoma doesn't look happy. Her face flushes and she doesn't reply.

A little later, after breakfast, Tokonoma entsrs the living room scowling.

"Okay, okay, you can go, Tsunade," she says, darkening her gaze at the slightest instance of happiness on Tsunade's face. "Three days, that's it. I expect for you to return from the trip and be ready for school. No complaining, no annoying your brother. You will work hard. Understood?"

Tsunade beams. "Understoooood!"

I end up walking to the Academy alone, considering how Tokonoma has to pack for Tsunade and walk her to Biwako. Without Hazuo, Tokonoma doesn't get much help.

I have to admit, it is strange. There is no idle talk nor their shadows nor the warmth of their presence. Of course, mentally, I am far older, but I can't help my childish loneliness. It gets even weirder when I enter the Academy and do not hear Tsunade's light steps or voice.

Needless to say, the classroom gave off a different vibe. Without her, the teacher has one less problem child. And without her, I have one less barrier to the students.

I feel their gazes on me all the more intensely. I try to play off my nerves by reading or pretending I notice nothing as I stare out the window. But I feel as though my attempt to look disconnected only makes the stare-ers all the more confident.

My nerves don't go down until Tokonoma is here to pick me up. In fact, as I trot to her side, she tilts her head slightly to the side. "What's with that huge relief on your face? Looks like you just took a dump after being constipated."

It's quiet without Tsunade. Unlike before, during my first few days here without her, I don't feel totally at ease. Apparently, Tsunade will join Biwako as she works in different areas of the Land of Fire with poor health care. I hope they both come home safely. Tensions still linger after the war...

The next morning Tokonoma walks me. I stop just at the yard of the Academy, hand tightening around my backpack straps.

I really don't want to face another intense day. But I'm not sure what to do. If I ask the teacher, would it do something? If I told them, would they actually listen?

Tsunade would probably threaten to beat them up... and then deliver on her promise.

Something pushes my head back: Tokonoma's finger jabs the area in between my eyebrows.

"Don't worry," she says, "she'll be back soon. But since she's gone, you got me. And ain't I the next best thing?"

Honestly... she isn't that wrong.

Yes, if it gets too much, I can definitely rely on her. I step towards the entrance realizing the further I go, the sooner I'll hit the threshold when Tokonoma will put my fate in the hands of strangers while she must leave.

As soon as I reach the door and open, I turn back.

She still stands there.

It's too bad I can't bring Tokonoma to class. Almost instantly, the stares crescendo built up throughout yesterday hits me all at once. I keep my head down and sit at my desk, eyes lingering on Tsunade's desk. Just as I get my notebook out, a hand smacks my own.

Because of my negligence, three students are surrounding my desk. They lack any clan symbol and are decorated in bandages. Their kimono-esque clothes are cheaply made, though colorful and well-fitting. The one with a hand bigger than mine stands closest to me.

"What's with you?" says he, showing off two missing teeth. His owlish eyes makes him appear more adorable than deadly. "Hidin' behind a girl. Aren't you number one? You sure are a chicken."

"It's no fair number one's a scaredy cat," the one wearing a cap adds.

"Yeah," the former nods. "We work hard and we're fearless! You make us look bad."

"He's not messing with you, so sit down," a Yamanaka girl shouts, brave perhaps because of her clan status.

"Shuddup. Yeah he is. He's a ninja and ninja aren't scared!"

Oh boy...

Descalating wouldn't work. He seems riled up. Besides, I doubt I'm eloquent enough. I should just rough him up a little and teach him to be a bit more cautious. No harm in that, huh?

Would I actually hurt a child outside of Competitive Sparring?

"Look, look! Number one can't look at us! 'S so bad! How come us braver ninja have to look up to you? Ev'ry time Mama comes to get me, it's the same thing: be like number one!"

"Yeah! And I hope you know he's number three in class, you know!"

"Uh huh! You should be more like me!"

The boy must be really brave, as he makes a fist and draws it back. I'm sure I can block or dodge it but should I? Won't it make me appear much more scared? Then this fight will never end, the teacher will come in and punish us both—I won't really have much say, won't I?

What a useless fight, I think, feeling something dark in my core burn. It's startling. I gaze at my desk, searching for the feeling. It's gone. Vaguely, I hear the sound of his fist traveling through air. Wind and movement. Wind and movement and too slow time. And the unmistakable sound of fist meeting flesh.

Although, there is no pain. No sensation of little fingers anywhere on me. I look up.

The first thing I register is the messy curtain of white hair and a dark red top. Girly, rose-scented perfume or soap emit from the boy, too subtle for his to have worn it himself. His head it turned enough just for me to see his tanned skin.

Immediately, I put the clues together and I really freeze up.

The number three boy pulls away his fist, grimacing at the pain, and scowls, "What you think you're doing, dead last?"

With no fist, Jiraiya turns his head to stare at him. "What are you doin'? You think Hokage go around punching their shinobi?"

That strikes a cord in the other boy who start to tremble with fury. "What're you saying? That's no ninja! He's a scaredy cat! He's messing up the name we got."

"Really? I don't really think so. He's got a good heart and works hard to be number one. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Stay out of my way! It's not like someone as bad as you at being ninja will get it! If you did, maybe you'd be number three."

The class is mostly in favor of the latter boy. Although Jiraiya's words attract curious stares, because his audience is so young, no one can think complex enough to understand. It is like teaching children that being grown-up is not as fun as it seems.

But the children do understand action. By action, the first thing they think of is fighting. And so the boy launches another attack.

I really don't want him to take another hit for me. I won't him to avoid it and the teacher's wrath when he invariably misunderstand everything. I don't want to become such a problem to him so soon—hopefully never at all.

I grab his sleeve. I see him start to turn to me as I run through hand seals and then everything turns white.

And quite smoky.

The cloud of smoke doesn't interfere with my breathing, but it's surreal to be able to breathe in dissipating smoke without hassle. As Jiraiya sputters at my side, I realize the place I took us to was my room.

We had travelled from the Academy to my bedroom, all thanks to a seal Tokonoma made. A get home seal. Tsunade and I both received it, perhaps because Tokonoma still gets scared that one day we will leave the home and never return.

"What the—what in the—?" The boy has no clue where we are. For all he knows, I just kidnapped him. But, rather than explain, I have to be careful.

I slap my palm over his mouth, concentrating. There are no sounds of movement and no smells of food. Tokonoma must not be here, so I let go.

No less calm, Jiraiya shouts, "Where the heck are we?"

Oh. I guess have to explain...

But Jiraiya looks at something behind me and his eyes go wide. "Eh? 'Happy birthday, Orochimaru'? This your room?"

I hung my first birthday card with my new family on the wall. Although whenever I see it I feel sad, I really don't want to forget it.

"Wait, waaaiiiit!"

The brief feeling of sadness changes into wariness once looking at the perverted gleam in his eyes.

"That cutie Tsunade lives here! I wonder what her room looks like! What it smells like!"

By impulse alone, I pluck a hair from his head and Jiraiya shouts in pain.

"My hair is special, yunno! And gimme a break! I came to the rescue, right? I protected you like I promised. I only protect good people and that's you. So, uh... be a good person and show me to Tsunade's room, please?"

The promise...

He remembered? He still cared? Jiraiya, you're...

I sit in my bed so my weak legs won't make me fall. I absolutely don't understand what runs through his mind. There's these moments of stupidity interspersed with moments of profound brilliance without warning. He's... a bit too much for me.

"Orochimaru? Are you okay?"

He's a bit hesitant to sit next to me or to move from the spot we landed in. It's rare for friends to see each other's rooms, much less strangers.

I watch the floor leading up to his chubby toes. "You remember... yet now we meet..."

"Huh?" I'm not sure if my voice was too soft or too harsh because I don't use it until he eventually adds, "H-How could I? Your sister's too cute! And you're always near her, too, so I couldn't really get the guts to talk to you. I mean, since she's been gone... I tried. But your fangirls are really, really mean!"

I can't help but to laugh a little.

Jiraiya chuckles longer than me. "Well, um, I'm Jiraiya! I may be a dead last now, but I'm gonna be Hokage one day. Let's be friends!"

His grin is every bit the same grin I'd seen countless times. Aside from the bruise forming on his cheek.

I shook his hand and introduced myself.

"So... will a friend let me see Tsunade's room?"

"No."

When Tsunade returns a day later, I get her to go to Jiraiya's seat and heal his cheek. ("This punk took a hit for you?" she said incredulously. "Well, geez, can't be in his debt...") His eyes are glazed over with happiness as Tsunade rests her glowing green palm on his face.

After she finishes, she wipes her hand off on her skirt. Because she didn't leave in time, Jiraiya snaps out of his stupor. "Ah, Princess Tsunade, you're so pretty today!"

"Yeah, yeah. I don't ever want to be in your debt anymore so leave us alone, perv."

His grin doesn't even falter. "But Orochimaru and I are friends! This won't be the last you see of me!"

Tsunade spins to me. "What? Of all the people in here! A dead last perv?"

I really want to flinch and run from her inevitable hit.

I also really want Jiraiya's friendship even more.

I maintain eye contact and nod once. Tsunade is momentarily at a lost for words before soon huffing and stomping away. "Whatever! Boys're stupid!"

 **end**


	23. giftedness

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty-three: _giftedness_

orochimaru: five years

years to second war: nineteen years

* * *

 **The curriculum is far too easy for Tsunade and me.**

Not so subtle rumors begin about early graduations. Tsunade excels in medical arts, a bit of genjutsu whenever she really tries, and taijutsu. With her extreme chakra control and vitality being an Uzumaki, it's no sweat for her to learn the three ninjutsu techniques needed to pass.

As for me, I've been taking a liking to this new energy within me. It's all through every sinow of my body now. Performing ninjutsu isn't nearly as hard as I expected it to be—though that may be because I had seen the extreme basics all before.

So, because of boredom, I mess with nature transformations. To able to do anything small with it is all I want. I do not have the energy to perform anything more taxing.

I try my hand molding my chakra to each form, hoping for a _click_ that will tell me this is my affinity. Nothing. I read a very vague scroll about transformations which do little for me. Finally, I figure I don't care what affinity I have. I need to learn one that was convenient for my medium chakra reserves.

It rules out water. It'll take too much effort to create and then use the water with the only real purpose being drowning victims. Wind can manifest in push or pull cycles or cutting, both of which don't suit me nor are convenient. Earth is excellent for defense but seeing as Tsunade and Jiraiya are the type to rush in, it would be a waste.

Fire or lightning? I figure I knew how to put out fires more than I did about electrical fires.

I meditate and focus on achieving that fiery spark within me. It goes very, very slowly.

And while I work hard at something I'm not good at it, so does a certain dead last.

"I passed my first test!" Jiraiya tells Tsunade and me. We were the only two that could handle him.

Jiraiya was obnoxious. He loved to do things to make others upset. He specialized in peeping on girls and bringing perverted things to class. Sometimes our classmates would snicker at his antics. Sometimes they really, really hated him.

"Ain't that a C," Tsunade says dryly.

"A C's passing!"

" Ha. Puh-lease, perv. " She hands him a her test over the chakra points marked by an S, the highest grade.

"Princess Tsunade is so smart!" Jiraiya gushes. "Maybe if she kissed me, I'd be smart, too!"

" You dumb perv!"

Jiraiya is also bad with girls. He tells me it's just an itch he can't reach, an impulse he can't ignore, to creep on girls. After all, without any parents and without much luck with ninja arts, there's nothing else to do in his life.

"I like writing, though," Jiraiya says quietly as we eat lunch together, the rest of the class too fearful (in my case) or too annoyed (in Jiraiya's case) to sit anywhere close. "I like poems and stories and books... but I hate serious books. I want action! I want gore and the death of the love of the main hero! Dramatic! Outrageous! Not... lame tales and facts."

Jiraiya, whenever alone, loves reading. From thin scrolls to thick novels, he reads the fastest out of everyone in class. When he reads, it's like he has perfect memory. He's able to recall specific paragraphs and page numbers, able to close a book and return to it a year later and remember the plot, et cetera. The librarians at the Ninja Academy and the public library both know him by heart.

Jiriaya has a gift.

And it's not as if it translates well into the ninja world. The only equivalent could possibly be sealing techniques.

"Never tried that," he tells me. "I know it from somewhere... wasn't Lady Mito a goddess at that? Yeah, she was! You think Tsunade will like me more if I learn it?"

He needs to not only learn it, but master it.

Tokonoma Senju, the mother of Tsunade, the daughter of Hashirama Senju and Mito Uzumaki, knows a fair bit about sealing techniques. Neither Tsunade and I had shown any interest, so she never pursued teaching us. I'm not sure if Jiraiya learned on his own, with the Third Hokage, or with the toads, but I assume he'll be even more excellent learning under Tokonoma.

I think this without really aligning reality with my ideas. When I first bring Jiraiya home, he openly stares at Tokonoma's chest, mumbles something inappropriate, and gets kicked out.

I have to hand deliver fifty-two poems of Jiraiya apologies before he can step foot into the house again. And once I deliver the request:

"You want me to teach this rude brat?" Tokonoma scowls at Jiraiya, making the boy flinch. "I never thought you could be funny, Orochimaru."

"It's for a great cause," Jiraiya says. "See, I'm going to be Hokage one day, and I also want to steal the heart of your lovely daughter."

"There's no way she'd be interested in you," Tokonoma harshly says. "Go."

"Please! You're my only hope, Ms. Tokonoma! You're the daughter of the illustrious Lady Mito and I respect you sincerely!"

Looks like reading all those adult romance books paid off, I think.

"Flattery won't get you nothing," Tokonoma stubbornly says.

"If not that then..." Jiraiya takes the time to point at Tokonoma, face deadly serious. "I'll make sure you'll have grandkids! If not you, then certainly Mr. Tsunade's dad!"

The woman reels back in horror. "What are you, _two_? Why are you concerned about that?"

"We'll name our first daughter after you, Ms. Tokonoma!"

"That's not what I want to hear! What kind of kid did you bring here, Orochimaru?"

Her voice is shrill with rage and paranoia. I think I need to try again another time. If this keeps up, she'll snap. So I tug on Jiraiya sleeve. Rather leave, the boy with a death wish stands his ground and winks at me briefly.

"The kind of person Orochimaru brought here is his first friend and his best friend, Jiraiya!" His grin dazzles. "Your son is a brilliant person, Ms. Tokonoma! He cares about my well-being and offered to help me. I'm dead last and he's the best in class. But still! He's there! I want to honor his desire by learning from you!"

Tokonoma says nothing. Her scowl falls into a neutral expression as she watches me. Having internally debated, she says, "...if... that's the case. Fine, I'll teach you a few things. But! I don't have patience and I like punching annoying things. If you think you can handle it, so be it."

Tokonoma is the best! I can't help but to smile, especially at Jiraiya's cheering (starting out innocently then moves into talking about grandchildren again). While he cheers, Tokonoma looks almost regretful she agreed but once she looks at me, her eyes go wide.

She immediately kicks out Jiraiya soon after, deciding she's had enough for today.

 **end**

* * *

I really wanted to write about Jiraiya training with Tokonoma but I ran out of time.


	24. outliers

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty-four: _outliers_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **"It is _complete_!"**

Jiriaya yells, racing to me with a scroll in hand. "That dumb bookstore clerk didn't even know I just copied the entire _Tiger's Eye_ series!"

My eyebrows shoot up. That's what he had been up to. Every week or two, he'd boast about him sneaking peaks of a book, memorizing it, and recording it onto a scroll. Curious, I extend a hand which Jiriaya dumps the thing in. I am no expert reader, but it only takes reading a few paragraphs.

I lower the scroll.

"Don't make that face!" Sweat rolls down the side of his head. "How could I read it? It's for adults!"

It was _florid prose_. The simplest scandal and indecent act was covered in poetic imagery and ideograms I struggle to read. But I can guess when the evil Shiashi plunged his bloodstained spear deep into the blossoming core of what kept the innocent maiden innocent... well.

"Please don't ruin it! You don't get it! I still remember the book since I copied it! But that don't mean ruin my hard work!" Tearfully, Jiraya has his palms together in prayer as he pleads.

I tuck it back into his robe's inner pocket.

It wouldn't be much fun if I accused him without any reasonable evidence.

We finally resume our walk to Jiraiya's home, the Leaf Orphanage I should have gone to. Like me, his parents died in war. He was told it was a sacrfice and enough of their bodies remained for him to see them one more time.

My parents were unrecognizable. Because of a gut feeling, I let the medics declare they were my parents. Who knows if they actually were not, and I witnessed a horrible sight another person would see. I know they haven't been back to the Leaf since they left before I woke up that morning.

"They have books here, but they're baby books," Jiraiya complains. "You're not allowed to bring shinobi books either!"

I point to his pocket, making him hide the forbidden scroll some more.

"Yeah, well... my first real taste of a real book was the caretaker's book! Mianmian was freaking out (cause I told her), and I took it! Man, it was way better than anything so far!"

Did he... does he understand those books? Or is it just the forbidden appeal? Either way, he's not changing.

The conversations concludes with him stepping inside and the caretaker woman watching me, positioning herself between the door and the inside. There is something frigid in her gaze that makes my body freeze.

"Selfish, aren't you?"

She pauses.

"An orphan who's got everything made for him. You should have been here. A more fortunate child should deserve the Most Honorable Granddaughter's affection, not the son of traitors."

Huh?

 _Huh_?

Her hair is undeniably silver. Her sun-damaged skin is wrinkled. From the long, overhanging sleeve, she shows me her hand, which is only made of two fingers.

 _That_ gets me to step back.

"I know not who killed or their bodies looked upon death, however I was your mother's enemy after she killed my daughter. _Friendly fire_ , she called it, as if she thought she could fool a woman who fought in wars before there were rules set in place."

I step back.

"Yet I was called old and senile, forehead protector removed. Justice can never exist in a world where evil can gain power that easily. She used her power and _knew_ I planned to kill her. And now, with you in Academy, you'll just follow the same path. Don't worry, you'll get what the Gods declare just like she did."

I turn around.

 _Walk._

My body feels numb. My mind is on fire.

 _Just get away from there._

Who knows... who knows how legitimate those words are? Who knows? Although, I've found it odd absolutely no one would tell me anything about my parents, I just assumed we were very private people.

 _As if we could hide how different our faces look._

"Let's walk home together!" Jiraiya's charming grin is captivating.

I reject him.

Tsunade ends up walking him home after he's done studying with Tokonoma. I feel bad until she returns with candies.

"The ladies were so sweeet! Tsunade gives me four, which are cold in my hand and ruins my appetite. "They want to thank me! They were all hoping for me to become a good Hokage like Grandpa! Could you imagine me as Hokage?"

I nod.

Tsunade is stunned by the quickness, remaining silent.

Tokonoma then comes by to collect the candy while we ninja-in-training were distracted, saying, "It's too late at night for candy. Get ready for your baths."

"Mommy, do you think I can be Hokage one day?"

Tokonoma's face darkens briefly. "You'd... probably be better at it than me, so... yeah. Guess so."

A devilish grin slowly forms on the blonde's face.

"I'm better than Mommy! When I'm Hokage, I'll be the strongest in the village! Then I can beat up Mommy for all the spankings and punishments!"

Tokonoma lunges for Tsunade, who Body Flickers away, yelling, "You keep your mouth up, and you're not gonna see that day! Geez!"

* * *

 **end**


	25. bright

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

 _A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC_

* * *

twenty-five: _bright_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **For Tsunade's newest grand plan, it doesn't involve the shouting of Tokonoma but a stern silence.**

"Why are we waiting on everyone else, huh?" she mused to me. "Everyone thinks they know everything! The teachers hate it when I know they're wrong. They hate it when I break their dumbest rules. If I was a ninja, I shut 'em right up!"

To take the test, a student will need a guardian's consent, perhaps to stop an abundant number of attempts. Tsunade speculated how her parents would react to the news. She was leaning heavily for her father who spoiled her rotten for a favorable opinion.

She, nor I, could predict Hazuo wouldn't be so eager to say yes after a few puppy dog eyes and fake tears.

He gathered his wife and we all sit around the table, quiet.

"You want to take the test," Tokonoma states quietly.

" _Yes_ ," Tsunade repeats. "Do you really think I can't do it?"

"Excuse me for needing evidence beyond a reasonable doubt for a _six-year-old_!" Tokonoma's aggression is finally the fiery spark we know.

"You were a ninja at _four_ , Mommy!"

The world was different back then! Don't compare what you don't know!"

Tsunade, temper suddenly cool, crosses her arms over her chest superiorly. "Doesn't matter. People don't change."

Tokonoma snorts. "Alright. Who's the adult you're listening to? I'll punch them for talking nonsense around ya!"

"I'm smart enough to think of that on my own!" Tsunade's whine only deconstructs her argument.

"You're wrong, little girl, it's maturity. _Obviously_ , you don't have enough of it. Certainly not enough to become a ninja at _six_."

"Daddy!" Tsunade jumps to her feet.

"Hazuo, say something!" Tokonoma slaps his arm.

When I first had met the blond, his calmness and happiness were something new. It was refreshing. Between the hurricanes and tornadoes of Tokonoma and Tsunade, he was a moderate breeze.

Tonight, no smile adorns his face. His brown eyes are cold, almost charcoal black now.

The look he gives his wife... is not the sweet and admiring gaze of a man who will create rosewater baths and shower her with affection. It's so detached and, judging from brows knit together in pain, regretful.

"You're arguing with a child, Tokonoma," he says.

For a second, Tokonoma's jaw hangs down. Recovering her sense, she hits him again. "You're one to talk! You spoiled Tsunade rotten! you got her thinkin' she's an adult when Gods know she's not. If I don't challenge her, nobody will!"

"I know. I _know_ but don't you think she could be a kunoichi? I mean, think of all the people who cherish her, especially after the First's death. If she became a ninja, wouldn't those people be inspired? It's just what we need after a tough war."

Unable to meet her gaze, he stares at his fingers. Everything about his screams meek, however there is a hidden strength that might even surpass Tokonoma's obvious strength.

She smacks the table at that, shouting, "Why does everything we do _have_ to be about random strangers? Why can't we just keep ourselves happy?"

"Tokonoma... nobody has gotten far in life by themselves. If doctors only cared for those they knew, we would have many more sick and dead, right?"

A small smile returns, perhaps forced.

Tokonoma huffs loudly. Tsunade isn't too eager to stop her father or do anything to set off her mother. Meanwhile, I sit and watch.

"I don't really want her to enter such a dark field as that, however... I have hope for her. She could be the spark of light we deserve," Hazuo smiles earnestly at that.

"By Gods... you have too much hope. It's _not_ that simple," Tokonoma argues weakly.

After all, she recalls all the men in her family leaving to become ninja and fight in a war... only to never return.

 _Her father and uncle are added to that list now, too..._

"Well, maybe!" Tsunade interjects. "Orochimaru is taking the test with me!"

" _What_?" Tokonoma glares at _me_. I wince. "I thought you were better than that?"

 _Disappointment_ hurts.

"Um, anyway," Tsunade says, "if he's on my side, then I'll be okay. I won't be alone!"

Tokonoma grumbles under her breath.

Hazuo says, "Oh, even better! I was beginning to doubt my faith in you alone, Tsunade!"

Tsunade huffs. "Geez! Don't you trust me?"

"That's not the issue," he says. "You're so young and... troublesome."

If all this debate was about us being able to take the test, imagine when we pass it.

On test day, Tokonoma and Hazuo walk us to the Academy. It's Tsunade who discovers Jiraiya while I'm reviewing. She pulls him over, saying, "I just can't escape you! Go home!"

She pushes outside the gate, but he plants his feet onto the ground. "Wait! I don't wanna go to class without you two! Lemme me at least give it a shot!"

"Oh no! I don't wanna be stuck with you!" Tsunade pushes harder with chakra, sending Jiraiya tumbling.

Hazuo chuckles at the of them and smiles. "Imagine a team like that..."

"She'd deserve it," Tokonoma pouts. "Least _she_ doesn't have to worry about the boy and boobs."

Eventually I calm them down to help review with me as we wait. The graduation exam is fairly easy despite reviewing, as I believe the test is structured in favor of clanless children, because any person who is from a big clan could pass without a sweat.

So, as expected, Tsunade and walk out our rooms at the same time, each with a forehead protector in our hands.

Her eyes glitter. "Oh yeah! We're the best, bro! How do you think Mom will react?"

"Obviously," Tokonoma says plainly, "I'd figure you pass. Aren't you both top students?"

"So... you didn't doubt me?" Tsunade sounds every bit like the little girl she is with one vulnerable sentence.

"I'd be insane if I did. I _know_ you're strong and talented. But somebody's gotta play devil's advocate." Tokonoma glares at Hazuo. "And not be a butt kisser."

"Congratulations!" Hazuo is clapping his hands furiously, yet quietly. "There will be many new responsibilities added being a ninja now. You are still so young, so you will make many mistakes. Please do contact us!"

Something feathery tickles my gut.

 _Won't these two die in the future?_

I do remember Tsunade's younger brother will—provided he just might be born—but eventually these two _will_ die. Else, they would have been more featured.

 _How?_

Will it be something as peaceful as old age or a premature death...?

We won't always be able to rely on them in the end.

I think that as if I'm mature to not mess up as well.

"Heyyy! Tsunade! Orochimaru! Look!"

Tsunade halfheartedly turns around and I follow her lead.

Because I knew I would see Jiraiya running to us wearing his own forehead protector.

The next me meet, it's outside, with barely more than a dozen children. Even though the Academy is as full as it's ever going to be. We were setting precedents—I could tell because everything was partially winged and barely organized.

At this point in time, families only remember two real outcomes: warring states period and the First Great Shinobi War (called The Great Shinobi War, as who would expect _three_ more?). With such dark experience being ninja and with the great war killing two Hokage... _nobody_ really is eager to get their kids to become ninja.

I suspect it's the success of the second war, of the Legendary Three, as propaganda for more ninja. _I wanna be Hokage_ really fails as a dream once two of the dead by a war's end and the current Hokage relies on Mito Uzumaki for training.

"We will begin team formations," our Academy director announces. "There are fifteen students who will be split into teams based on the decisions your superior ninja have decided. Team One—"

Tsunade is bouncing on her feet, no doubt admiring her beautiful new clothes she got. I'm still using my gray and gold colors, to her dismay,but it is one of the few forms of identity I can control. Jiraiya still looks the same and he even shoots me a grin.

"Orochimaru!"

I jolt out of my thoughts and walk up to grab the folder. I open it and read the obvious handwriting of a man.

 _Hello, Team Three!_

 _Inside are your datasheets and information regarding your graduation tests. I hope you will read them to understand your strengths and weaknesses. Naturally, you will need to be very aware of them come today._

"Hey, what's the note say? Who's on Team Three?" Tsunade shouts, waiting for me to close the distance.

 _Fitting for your name, meet your new teacher in Training Ground Thirty-Three. I know it is a bit far away from the heart of the village, but we will not be distracted there! I am eager to meet you three soon..._

 _Orochimaru, Tsunade Senju, and Jiraiya._

 _Sincerely,_

I freeze.

Oh.

Ohhh.

I forgot.

How could I forget something this crucial?

 **end**

* * *

I wanted to write about Jiraiya training with Tokonoma, about the slow evolution of Tsunade's speech made for the adults wrapped around her finger to her mature vocabulary, I wanted to write Orochimaru training.

 _But_

I'm running out of time. It's nearly been a year and we're this far? I need to work a bit harder, huh?

Also, do you all believe the team the legendary three aka sannin was called team seven?


	26. dynamics

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC

* * *

twenty-six: _dynamics_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **I forgot our teacher will be none other than the Hokage himself.**

 _No wonder Mito is doing a lot of work, our Hokage wants to train children._

I can't believe it... his first impression wasn't stellar—I met him while he was injured and accompanying Biwako. He did everything he could to decipher why I wouldn't talk, no matter how much I showed him I was uncomfortable. And yet... Tobirama picked him.

Even though, naturally, Tokonoma would have been the most ideal fit.

She's an older woman, more mature, and has been through enough wars. She has a family and a modest career as "Tokonoma the Take All". Fifty percent of her remaining family were directly tied to the Hokage before the war ended.

But she rejected it.

Tsunade takes the letter and reads and screams. "Geez! Of course I couldn't escape him! Oh—is Biwako-sensei's boyfriend our teacher?"

It had only been a little more than a year after our Third Hokage's inauguration. Tsunade couldn't see him as a authoritarian figure yet. Decades later, she would still have an issue associating him as Hokage, as he was her teacher at heart.

Jiraiya is, expectedly, thrilled and raves the whole way there to Training Ground Thirty-three. I'm not really nervous... there isn't anything to be worried about. Nothing serious will come from this day.

Except an infamous little test...

"Good morning, Team Three!"

Crosslegged on a tree trunk with a radiant smile is none other than our lively Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi.

Hiruzen lacks his robe—though he never wore it much anyways—and sticks with his classic uniform of all black and mesh. He actually looks the most identical to a stereotypical ninja were it not for his loud and commanding voice shattering the illusion of quietness.

Tsunade races to him first followed by Jiraiya.

"Ew, you look like an adult now," Tsunade says, frowning up briefly before smiling.

Hiruzen chuckles. "Nice to hear I'm growing old already. Jiraiya, how have you been? I see you've been reading much more now."

Jiraiya rubs his nose to hide his cocky smirk. "Ah, well, you don't know the half of it, Lord Hokage!"

"Orochimaru..."

He meets my gaze with hs warm eyes. The man truly is too kind. I had never met Hashirama up close in real life, but I'd imagine he would have the same pair of soft eyes.

"Bit by bit, you're bursting out of your shell, aren't you?"

Huh? Of all things...

He smiles brighter when I don't respond. "Okay! From now on, call me Sarutobi-sensei, okay? You do not _have_ to call me Lord Hokage, but if it makes you uncomfortable with sensei, I will understand."

"Hmm..." Jiraiya waggles his eyebrows at me and grins deliberately Tsunade (who returns a suspicious glare). "How about... Hokage-sensei?"

Hiruzen blinks in surprise.

Tsunade sighs. "What a lame joke."

As I'm in the middle of the two, Jiraiya lightly pulls on my sleeve. "I bet Orochimaru liked it, huh?"

Honestly... I can't deny that. So I nod.

Tsunade groans.

"You three are an excellent team," Hiruzen says out of the blue, much to our confusion. "Well... you all fit into the roles so perfectly! I'm very impressed!"

"About what?" Tsunade says.

"There was much debate as to how teams would be made," Hiruzen-well, I guess _Sarutobi-sensei_ \- tells us, shifting a reminiscing gaze to the trees. "With my experience, I felt there should have a girl to be the antithesis of two rowdy boys. To bring in emotional perspective a man couldn't provide."

Tsunade beams.

"Next, I decided the top student and the last student should be placd together, to balance your skill sets and make the last place student shine even more! The last place student from my year had passed away towards the beginning of the war because his teammates had a very low skill set balance. I didn't want that to happen again."

His voice turned harsh with that last sentence.

A shiver ripples down my spine. I look over to see Tsunade frowning and Jiraiya clenching shaking fists on his knees.

 _It had been the same in the real world too, huh?_

From the Legendary Three, the dead last was killed.

I don't _want_ that to happen again. But what does that mean? Am I just acting like a spoiled child? Do I even mean those words?

"It won't, Sarutobi-sensei," I tell him.

His eyes widen. I can see he's stopped breathing for the moment.

"It won't ever," I say.

 **end**

* * *

AN: I'm really happy about this chapter. I introduced Hiruzen earlier, but never used his name. That's because Hiruzen wasn't going to be limited to a few scenes. I remember reading a review about why I didn't write his name...

Fun fact, I'm pretty sure every Hokage has died at least once (Hashi, offscreen, Tobi, Kinkaku Force, Hiru, sacrifice, Mina, sacrifice, Tsuna, _near death_ during Pain Attack, Kaka, Pain Attack, Naru, Boruto) so if Jiraiya wants to become Hokage, he'll have to pass the minimum requirement.

I did want to write more, but it's been a month since the last chapter. Thank you for the reviews and follows and favorites! :)


	27. test

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC

* * *

twenty-seven: _test_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **For a few seconds, our leader is reduced to a series of stammers.**

"Ehhh," Tsunade groans, sighing at my antics. "I don't understand why you care so much about that perv."

Jiraiya, with a cocky chuckle, wraps his arm around my neck, pulling me close to his side. "I'm honored! But don't you know once I'm Hokage, _I'll_ be the one protecting you all! You really think the great Jiraiya will die?"

"You'd sell your soul just to see naked women," Tsunade retorts, happy with her retort.

"That's not true!" With pink cheeks and a lopsided grin, he says, "It only costs a few ryo!"

"I really hate you!"

She reaches over and seizes Jiraiya's collar, shaking him.

"You three..."

We had resorted to our childish, immature days. But upon hearing the voice of our Hokage, we shut up.

He isn't confident like artists or people portray him to be. Actually, he scratches the side of his head with a lost expression. After a moment, he adds, "Orochimaru... can talk?"

"When he wants to," Tsunade says. "Not even I know when."

"That's the most he's said in a while, huh?" Jiraiya lets go and scrutinizes me. "He must really like Sarutobi-sensei."

Tsunade doesn't say anything. She looks _pointedly_ away, as if restraining herself. I wouldn't doubt if she's noticed my discomfort around him.

In fact, _Sarutobi-sensei_ should sense it as well. He must be chalking it up to our first meeting, though.

"Well, before we're officially a team..." He pauses for effect. Even anticipating words, my breathing picks up. "There's one more test in your way."

The silver bells take on a greenish tint as Sarutobi-sensei holds them by their red thread of fate.

 _Teamwork shouldn't be an issue, right?_

Tsunade is upset as she complains about the rules. I know she'd sooner have me on a team than without, so she won't let this trick get to her.

Jiraiya, on the other hand, is sweating bullets and shouts about the unfairness. _He_ won't give up his dream. He's falling for the trap—as expected—and I know he'd pick Tsunade over me.

Plus, Tsunade is the _doer_. She won't listen to me strategize. I mean, she's brilliant. It's not like she needs me to play tactician.

Only one path remains.

As soon as Sarutobi-sensei cuts his hand through the sky, I am the first to leave the clearing and get to hiding.

Jiraiya looks around for me as Tsunade dashes away. Flustered, he clumsily chases after her.

I keep my pace through the trees. If Sarutobi-sensei is as smart as everyone says, he would play to our egoes. Make us think we have the advantage. Obviously, we'll never have that—certainly not alone.

I just need to stay away from Tsunade. As talented as she is, Tsunade isn't a sensor. She relies on the trails left by humans which can be just as accurate. I perch on top of the tallest branch, hiding in the shade.

Distantly, I hear Jiraiya and Tsunade fighting. I can't see anything. Yet I feel like Tsunade is the one who lept out of hiding to get away from Jiraiya, and the boy only fights because his love does.

 _It's not really teamwork if they're both acting by themselves together_ , I muse.

The two are taking a _beating_. I hear their grunts and gasps, their bodies slamming against trees or sliding on grass. What will he do to me?

"It isn't nice to hide while your friends fight alone."

My nerves and chakra go haywire, but my body is still. Before my eyes is no longer a green forest under a cloudless sky, but amber eyes and a burgundy, furry face.

The monkey waits for me to respond.

I've _never_ seen any monkey like this. I know Sarutobi-sensei's monkey summon Enma. He'd been summoned before my eyes during a ceremonial ritual, he'd been painted in elaborate portraits, he has songs.

Enma isn't a small monkey whose eyes can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. His kimono isn't haphazardly thrown on. He doesn't grin this hugely.

"Oh? Are you feeling guilty? If you repent, maybe Hokage-sama won't be too hard on you!"

Then again, if Sarutobi-sensei summoned Enma, I would be incapacitated by now.

I push chakra to my feet and leap backwards. The monkey leaps after me. It can't dodge while in midair. My hands go through six seals. My chakra burns hot as it swells in my chest and mouth before spewing forth in a stream of flames.

 _Fire Release: Dragon's Breath_ is costly, but it's more for show than damage. I plan to use the curtain of orange to get away, however the monkey bursts through the technique, fur and outfit burning, with an ecstatic grin.

 _Huh._

I perform another technique, this time less exhausting. Temporarily invisible, I slip away from my tree branch while that monkey tackles an illusion.

A simple afterimage illusion. It is an environmental technique, so I don't need to throw chakra at the monkey.

I continue on my way, trying to listen to the other two. They're yelling—arguing at one another?

"This is fun! You're it!"

Midair, I crane my neck to voice next to my ear, only to see a blurred figure. Calmer, I watch the monkey leap ahead of me—

 _Something is on fire—_

The sound pops and muffles my ears. The exposed skin on my elbows and forearms sting less than my back.

And I'm falling to the ground. I bend my knees and roll. The cold grass blades take away the pain ever so slightly.

The monkey's laughing echoes.

"Orochimaru!"

"What was that noise? You okay?"

Appearing at my sides are my two teammates, bruised with dirty and slightly torn clothes. Jiraiya looks more disheveled, perhaps because he didn't land as cleanly as Tsunade did.

"Geez, you're burnt! Oi, perv, sit him up!"

Jiraiya helps me. Tsunade crouches behind me and the warmth of her chakra spreads through my back and arms. Her chakra nullifies most of the pain as my body accelerates through its natural healing process.

"Hokage-sensei isn't even going easy on Orochimaru," Jiraiya comments, paying more attention to Tsunade than me.

"He's the Professor, do-do head. He's the master of Ninja Techniques," Tsunade defends. "I heard he fought a dozen Lightning shinobi not even knowing what their _hiden_ was. He made all their secretive techniques using hand seals and Ninshuu theory."

"So you're saying the _one thing_ we worked so hard at... it's not good enough?"

Her chakra recedes. "Our Body Techniques won't be good as his. Do we even _have_ any advanced Illusion Techniques? I don't get how we're supposed to take those bells if he's better than us in every way possible. He's a genius!"

Shouting in frustration, Tsunade punches the grass.

 _You're on the right track. The answer is so close._

Jiraiya meets my gaze and hands me a singed, rectangular tag. An explosive tag. "She pulled this off your back..."

I take it and put it inside a hidden pocket. Figures. Though it wasn't packed with half as much gunpowder it should've. I scowl and shake my head, adding the sign for _decoy_.

"That tag's fake?" Jiraiya sputters. "Didn't you see how bad you _looked_?"

"He _meant_ —" Tsunade huffs. "An explosive tag should've killed him, being so close. It was just a fake to distract him."

"Oh." The gears start to turn in Jiraiya's head. "What's the point doing that? It's like he's going easy on us, but he keeps kicking our butts? What's the point of this test?"

"O-Obviously, Sarutobi-sensei doesn't want to kill us. He just wants to mock us, I guess."

"That's so stupid! I hate this test! Let's give him a taste of his own medicine!" He jumps to his feet, invigorated.

"Jiraiya!"

I stand with him, delightly surprising the boy.

"O-Orochimaru!" Tsunade stands up. "Don't listen to him. I'm sure me and you can get the bells without him."

I put my hand on Jiraiya's shoulder, silencing him. I put my other hand on Tsunade's shoulder.

"Only two people can pass," she whines. "Maybe Sarutobi-sensei can only mentor two because he's so busy. That's why—"

I shake my head.

"Wahhh!" Jiraiya is grinning wide. "Orochimaru is taking one for the team! I knew you believed in Tsunade and me!"

"I'm _not_ marrying you!"

I pinch them to get them to focus.

"This is so stupid, and I hope Mom punches you," Tsunade says. "Well... the way I see things, here's what we should do..."

 **end**


	28. tester

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC

* * *

twenty-eight: _tester_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **Sarutobi-sensei places his lit pipe in his mouth, closing his eyes to enjoy the sensation.**

From the branch where I rest, I can see the judging scowl Tsunade makes as she watches. By his fourth puff of smoke, I catch the strong smell. I suppress a cough.

I thought Kakashi pulling out his perverted book was cocky enough.

Tsunade steps out into the clearing, arms folded over her chest. Sarutobi-sensei watches her from the side.

"You know," she starts superiorly, "Biwako-sensei isn't gonna like that you beat up three kids."

He chuckles. "You three are ninja now, regardless of your age. I am not fighting children."

"Sounds like an excuse to me, Sensei."

"Sorry if I can't meet your high standards, Princess Tsunade."

She wrinkles her nose in disgust. "Not you, too. You were supposed to be different."

He removes the pipe to laugh. "It's nice seeing you grow up, Tsunade! You are nothing like my teacher at all! No, that fire is nothing but Lady Mito and Tokonoma within you."

"You're such an old man," Tsunade sighs. "You're slacking."

I don't waste effort to hear the man's response.

Free falling down towards him is none other than Jiraiya, throwing shuriken with terrible aim. Sarutobi-sensei easily dodges them, catches Jiraiya, and throws him at Tsunade.

She leaps over him, fist raised high.

Standing on the balls of his feet, Sarutobi-sensei dodges her punches and kicks with the agility of a monkey. He takes a long drag from his pipe and, as Tsunade uses a chakra assisted jump to punch him, catches her arm and throws her at Jiraiya.

Watching them, he releases the cloud of smoke from his lips.

"You two do not learn. That will not work. You will never get the bells that way."

Tsunade is the first to rise, perhaps an extension of her Uzuamaki bloodline. "He's in position, Orochimaru!"

I'm already nodding and sprinting from my branch. As he dodged her, he stepped back or to the sides. Tsunade planned her hits so that he would move just as expected.

Sarutobi-sensei watches me close the distance, slightly alarmed but mostly curious. To further throw him off, I launch four shuriken as accurately as possible

He catches them with two fingers.

 _That won't intimidate me._

I make the necessary five seals for an Earth Release technique. As I reach for the ground, Sarutobi-sensei flies through the seals necessary for a Lightning Release technique. Earth's weakness.

I suck in a huge breath and tense up.

The clearing is lit up with silver-blue light.

My teeth are buzzing.

A stream of electricity comes for me, slow motion.

I feel the heat on my face grow as my hair stands on end. It's too bright too directly see. If I time this on hearing, I'd be dead. Lightning is faster than sound.

It's up to my peripherial vision.

 _If I screw up, Sarutobi-sensei wouldn't really hurt me that badly..._

I blow.

A strong current of wind weakens and disperses the lightning completely.

 _Wind_ , the weakness to lightning.

Sarutobi-sensei blinks as the wind rips around him. He narrows his eyes ever so slightly.

He _should_ be confused. He saw nothing with that super bright electricity in the way. Now I know this definitely works.

"If Body Techniques ain't good enough," Tsunade says, panting, "how about Ninja Techniques?"

I mimic the same seals Sarutobi-sensei used for his technique. He's visibly startled, but starts to make seals I know all too well. It's the Wind Release technique that will stop me.

Sarutobi-sensei is quick and agile.

The wind is leaving his mouth.

Breathing in sharply, I release a stream of fire that is enhanced by his wind. It rushes up the Wind, feasting on the chakra and oxygen to make it burn brighter.

Up up up to the still lit pipe in his mouth.

But rather an explosion or anything spectacular, the fire burns through a log. Not our teacher.

"How are you doing that? That's impossible!"

Sarutobi-sensei appears behind us, too far away from our traps.

"You're using hand seals for one technique yet... you're performing a different technique entirely. That's way too advanced for your age!"

I'm breathing hard, aware I've lost too much chakra. I rest on one knee as Tsunade puts her hands on my back. "Give us some credit, Sensei. Orochimaru is just as good at Ninja Techniques. 'Cause what you're seeing isn't really my brother but an illusion."

"Illusion?" Puzzled, he disrupts his chakra to "end" it.

It won't work.

" _You're_ not the target," Tsunade chides. "My brother is. He put the illusion on himself using a Shadow Clone. It changed the way he looks on the outside—AKA, his version of the Transformation Technique."

The simple, E-ranked skill all students are taught. The very same skill Naruto failed at.

"You're never gonna see what technique he's really doing unless you gotta Byakugan, Sensei. And as long as he has chakra, you can't win."

Tsunade removes her hands. I stand up, rejuvenated.

Sarutobi-sensei processes the information. Once it's clicked in his mind, a slow smile begins to grow.

"I'm excited," he begins oddly. "You two really are top ninja and kunoichi. I really can't waif to see what kind of shinobi you will become."

She hums under her breath. I wince.

"However..."

His smile takes on a more sinister feel.

"I have been faced with far greater dilemmas. You can't think you've bested me. In the end, all I have to do is get rid of his Shadow Clone."

"You think we're gonna let you search around and do that? Give us more credit."

"That's not necessary. It's already set."

Tsunade gives me a wary look.

I'm clueless.

Sarutobi-sensei makes the Tiger Seal. "Fire Release: Ash Residue Burning!"

Something thunders behind us and orange light floods the clearing.

Behind us, some of the forest is in flames. A rush of chakra reenters my system, jarring my overall chakra and memories.

 _I burned to death..._

The memory twists my stomach. I push a fist against my mouth.

"He got the clone? How did he—?" She gasps. "He's using that pipe!"

Sarutobi-sensei blows out another smoke cloud to be carried by the wind. "One must always be aware or air currents when using this technique. This gunpowder is created by my chakra. I can sense whatever it touches."

"Guess you can't sense Jiraiya," she mentions dully.

" _Jiraiya_?" His eyes trail to the spot where he was once was.

As the plan went, I was to distract him as Jiraiya set up the traps.

In the now flaming forest.

"He ran into the forest while you were busy with us. If we're lucky, he's probably not dead," she adds.

Sarutobi-sensei drops his pipe and leaps for the flaming forest.

Trading a glance, we follow.

"Sarutobi-sensei is so quick to use fire," she comments. "Biwako-sensei's ramblings really helped us out, huh?"

I know that. I can't be too happy, though.

 _Jiraiya, if you're dead, I will kill you._

I create another Shadow Clone to scout.

Inside the fire is hot and suffocating. It's not as intense as I expected, but we have to be extra cautious. Following behind Sarutobi-sensei is our best bet.

"His trap is gone! What's he thinking?" Tsunade mumbles.

Rather than what she planned, Jiraiya's scrolls are nowhere to be seen. Instead, we hear his cries.

I take Tsunade's hand. Having more chakra, I Body Flicker to the ground where Sarutobi-sensei already is. From here, I can see the nasty wound on Jiraiya's leg.

 _Sarutobi-sensei, what the hell were you thinking?_

I step forward to push away the idiot from Jiraiya.

Tsunade seizes my shirt and yanks me to her side.

"I smell blood on the trees," she says, nodding to the trees closest to us.

It's not the first time I've heard this.

When Jiraiya would train in using blood seals, Tsunade would be the first to tell. Maybe her blood sense had been enhanced from her medical training.

( _Maybe that's why blood traumatized her so severely._ )

Sarutobi-sensei picks him up, muttering apologies, and looks up for a stable place to land.

Jiraiya puts his chin on his shoulder, sees us, winks.

He does a seal-less Body Replacement Technique and, at our side, shouts, "Sealing Technique: Release!"

From the four trees closest to the Hokage bursts fire.

Jiraiya had stolen fire from Sarutobi-sensei and sealed the energy in a basic technique, his very second technique learned.

That wound on his leg was self-inflicted.

It's so surprising, so startling, I stare in awe.

Until Sarutobi-sensei leaps off the ground all because of his advanced reflexes. The four streams of fire converges where he should've been.

He spins mid air to watch the spectacle, no doubt putting two and two together.

The elusive bells extend from his belt like a monkey tail.

That's it.

Game over.

How can we ever hope to—

A black, blurred object whizzes by Sarutobi-sensei. By us. It lands on the tree next to me. _That's_ not important.

A pale, white hand wraps around the bells no longer bound by the red thread of fate.

Sarutobi-sensei somehow turns enough to bring his kunai through the clone's stomach, popping it. Not before it throws its stolen treasure.

The man locks eyes on the air borne bells.

Tsunade, with a burst of chakra, picks up and throws Jiraiya.

" _Tsuuunaaadeeeee_?"

Not at the bells.

At Sensei.

Without hesitating, he saves Jiraiya first.

Oh.

I, with basically full reserves, launch her with full power towards the bells.

He catches her.

In flash, he's siezed me, too.

He deposits us under a blue sky and on grass.

We breathe in the refreshing air.

"Tsunade," Jiraiya says, "you missed the bells! I was heading towards Sensei!"

"It was on purpose." She's happy. Happy because her hands hold two bells.

I exhale deeply.

Sarutobi-sensei extinguishes the fire with a technique. The forest has seen better days. There's no fixing the damage. "You took them from me. I underestimated you all. Now. Who will be the person to return to the Academy?"

Jiraiya looks pleadingly at Tsunade, who huffs.

"Look, Hokage-sama... Sarutobi-sensei... if you think after what we did today _any_ of us should go back to the Academy, you're a pretty stupid man."

She throws the bells at his feet.

"I know we're talented. _Most_ of us. But, beyond that, we're great. If you got rid of any of us, we wouldn't got the bells. The only way we got them was 'cause we're _us_ three. So what are you talking about sending someone _back_? We three make a better force than just two."

I smile.

Tsunade looks over and blushes. She glares even harder at Jiraiya, who's on the edge of tears.

"I'm stating facts," she says. "Don't make this weird! Geez!"

"If that's so... I think you three pass!"

Sarutobi-sensei smiles brightly.

"No one will return. I will teach you very talented three!" He stoops down to take the bells, surveying them. "It seems this plan worked after all."

"Plan?" Jiraiya says, delaying his victory cry he had built up with a huge breath of air.

He tosses the bells in the air.

"I have seen many unfortunate things in my lifetime. Worst of all... was ninja abandoning comrades because they were afraid to die for something bigger than them. What is a ninja who works alone and thinks nothing of their village? I don't want that to happen any more. If I must teach every team in the Leaf from now on, I will. _Teamwork_ is the most important skill a good ninja should have. No matter what odds face you, no matter how badly you want to see your selfish desires, you must _never_ forget what teamwork is."

Sarutobi-sensei...

Hiruzen...

Your words are strong but in the end, the lesson failed. Too many of those who faced the test had a burning darkness within them.

Your lesson couldn't reach them. Not forever, at least.

So far... we would become the model for future teams. Of the Rain Orphans, of Team Minato, of Team Kakashi. And, so far, we have done nothing different.

We passed the test.

Does that really mean anything? Will anything be _different_?

 _What_ would be the event that I know to look forward to? To know I've done something right?

Our Chuunin Exams? Our everyday lives? The death of our teacher, by my hands once again? The Pain Attack?

I search my memories. Nothing stands out other than the Second War.

The war where we become legendary.

The war where _everything_ falls apart.

Jiraiya starts his lone adventures, mentors a troublesome trio.

Tsunade loses her love and brother all at once, crippling her.

I... I should begin my experimentation and deception.

If we could survive that war, there's no telling what the future holds.

But it's a twenty year gap. Only two years have passed.

 _What_ could I do in eighteen years to keep us together? To be the first team to ever benefit from the Bell Test?

 _I can't believe I finally care..._

All those years ago, I didn't care. And now...

I can't deny I have an attachment to this world.

 **end**

* * *

Hey! Look at the fast updates! I'm motivated!

We have finally reached ninja days! And thus the countdown begins. Orochimarus goal is to rewrite the ending of the second war. Can he do it? Is the fix as simple as preventing two deaths and refusing to experiment? Well, .monumental changes won't have easy fixes.

Anywho, I'm expecting time to move a bit more quickly, so... if the slow pace as of now bothers ya, it gets better.

If the explanation of their ploy is still confusing, lemme know and I'll make it easier to understand. Till next time. I can't promise a speedy update but i can promise i wil update in the future.


	29. explanation

**Stuck Between Slugs and Toads**

A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC

* * *

twenty-nine: _explanation_

orochimaru: six years

years to second war: eighteen years

* * *

 **"Orochimaru, before you leave..."**

Sarutobi-sensei beckons me to sit down next to him. Tsunade stays put, watching.

"Now, I have a file about your strengths and capabilities. What you showed me today _wasn't_ it all."

I nod.

"It says here you've taken an interest on herbs and poisons. I didn't see any of that today."

Well, duh. Poisons are a stealth technique. He was sitting in the open with all of the advantages. Plus... I'd rather not poison my very own leader.

"Do you understand that you performed _two_ nature transformations today?"

I saw this coming and I still wince.

"Sarutobi-sensei, you really are old!" Tsunade laughs and interrupts. "All Orochi knows is two fire techniques. That was just scrolls."

"Scrolls?" He strokes his chin, replaying the events.

The first technique Jiraiya learned was _Enclose Technique_.

"Part of the trap was that Jiraiya had sealed up different elements in seals. Orochi's clone told him when to release the element from the scroll." Tsunade pauses. "I mean... my brother only held up the scroll while we all saw something different. That was the first part of the trap."

"You thought of all this? Are we sure Hazuo is your father?" He adds a forced laugh which annoys Tsunade.

"They came up with ideas, too, Sensei. _I_ put them together. But part two of the trap was to seal up one of _your_ techniques and use it against you. We thought the shock would've been huge! Then I'd sneak the bells."

"It was one big illusion," Sarutobi-sensei summarizes. "You really tricked me. And here I thought no illusion could ever hurt me again."

 **end**

* * *

I reread the last chapter and I realized I left out this explanation, too.

I feel so stupid, like I'm pretty sure you read the last chapter and were like _what the heck is this author on?_ And I apologize for that, I was way too excited to update.

So similarly to how Kakashi can do earth techniques before nine, Orochimaru has a fire affinity. He absolutely cannot use other transformations at **six**. That's unbelievably overpowered. **Broken.** I hinted to this explanation being how Orochimaru does not mention his chakra changing as he does for fire. It's all a big show to distract and redirect Hiruzens attention from the main prize.

I'll combine this chapter with the previous chapter, but I just wanted to alert you all.


End file.
